Let’s reminisce. Remember in February when you had that week of three tests, two essays, and a group presentation? Remember how stressed out you were? Bet you thought that was going to be the height of stress you would be under in one semester. I mean, that’s a lot of stuff to do. It can’t get much worse than that, can it?
Try again! If you thought a week of unbearable amounts of schoolwork was rough, welcome to hell month. Yes, you read that right -- hell month. You finish a week like the one in February, but you don’t get a break -- the next one’s even worse. And it’s not even finals yet! This month leading up to those soul-sucking exams is the worst of the year.
How will you know that you are in hell month? Honey, let me tell you, you’ll know. But if you’re ignoring the devil himself planning your schedule, if you’re numb to the flames flickering around your soul -- glance through the following and see if any apply:
You’ve woken up with a keyboard imprinted on your face.
When your phone calculates how long it'll take you to get home, it assumes your home is the library.
You should maybe start paying rent to the librarians, considering the number of times you've slept there.
You don’t even remember your Netflix password anymore.
Apparently, the second season of "How to Get Away with Murder" was just released, but here I am, attempting to calculate free cash flows for a made-up business. What a treat.
It’s gotten to the point where you consider yourself lucky if you have more than a couple of hours to study for a test.
Sleep is for the WEAK.
And believe me, I am weak. Have you dozed off while holding eye contact with your teacher while she was giving a lecture? On the bus on the way to class? Sitting on a bench between classes? As you were actually walking to class? Probably should sleep for multiple days just to catch up from this awful month.
Somehow people seem to be not in hell month and you actually despise them.
But then again, you still go out because screw school & life sucks, am I right??
Which sometimes leads to finding yourself doing homework while drunk.
Is it easier this way? Or just totally sad?
You have to frequently choose between studying, sleeping, and showering.
It shouldn't be a toss up, but most of the time it definitely is.
You might as well forget about working out.
You’ll fall over on the treadmill. Or just have to sacrifice your sleep for the night to have enough time to still go to class and do your homework.
You set alarms for five minute naps.
At this point, anything that remotely resembles sleep is better than nothing.
Your parents keep asking about your summer plans but you literally can't think past the next hour.
Study now, then nap, then eat, then class. And repeat.
You feel exactly the same whether or not you got any sleep the previous night.
A blank stare, a head full of white noise, walking from place to place as though you’re trudging through sludge -- sleep apparently doesn’t fix this anymore.
You stay up forever writing your essay for your 8 A.M. class the next day…
…. And then completely forget to print it before.
Free time? HA HA. HA.
You have no breaks ever. If you find yourself relaxing, you’re definitely late to something.
You’ve woken up on your bathroom floor at 5 A.M. surrounded by Cheetos, chocolate chips, and slices of bread, unsure of how you got there.
And you didn’t even go out the night before.
If you have a presentation, it will unexpectedly pour when you are on your way there.
So. This is my life now.
There is one bright light at the far, far, far end of this tunnel of absolute shit -- you’re almost done.
The fact that you’re in hell month means that you are so close to being finished with these classes and on your way to the beach. There’s not much more that you can do besides just sticking out the grind and completing all that work.
Or just ignore everything and watch Disney Channel Original movies. After all, it is hell month.
(Me anytime I have to do anything relatively difficult: see below.)
