This isn't a letter to the girl who was heartbroken two days ago and still cannot get out of her bed, because quite honestly, the only thing you can do in that situation is try your hardest not to lose yourself every waking moment of your existence for the next couple of days. This is a letter to the girl who is heartbroken and has been for awhile. This is a letter to the girl who is back to her normal routine in her normal life, but is just living her life with a broken heart.
I know the position you are in and I know how hard it is. Day in and day out you are living your life and you are trying to be happy, but there is something missing and you just can't put your finger on it. You want to be happy and you want to go out and have fun, but there's something holding you back. It has been months since the breakup, but you are still attached to him and still attached to the idea that you and him are going to work out. You are in a whirlwind of hurt and let me tell you, you are not alone.
First thing first, if you are still in contact with him, it needs to stop. I know you love him and honestly you are going to love him for awhile, but you need to cut him out of your life. You need to stop trying to find a reason to talk to him because it is only hurting you more. You need to delete him from your life. He was a part of your life so I understand you do not want to cut him out of your life completely, but you need to delete all of the texts, pictures, everything. Everything that you have that is from the relationship that is tangible needs to be put in a box and hidden from sight. This either means in the back of your closet or the bottom of the trashcan.
You may try to hold onto these things in case you and him get back together, but that very thought needs to be erased from your brain. You thinking that you and him may get back together is toxic. It will take away happiness and prevent future happiness. The very thought at the time may seem euphoric, but it is temporary.
Moving on is hard, but you are already on the path toward it. One day you will wake up and live your life without a single trace of him. This doesn't mean that you are over him, it just means you learning to live without him completely. Some months you will have more days without thinking about him, and those are milestones. You will have days of relapse where you cry and miss him, but on these days you must remember not to lose all of your progress. You must not look at pictures or try to contact him. You have to understand that he holds a place in your heart and sometimes that place just gets a little lonely sometimes.
He will always have a special place in your heart and you must not forget that. You also must not forget all of the pain that he caused you and all the hurtful things he did to you. There will always be a place in your heart with his name on it, but after time it will slowly shrink until all that's left is a place that once belonged to a boy who meant the world to you.
So be happy on your progress but if you ever get sad, remember that Ben & Jerry's is always there for you and can fill the missing void temporarily. You are not alone and the day you realize you are over him will be the day where a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you are finally set free. Until that day, "Remember that you were art work long before he came to admire you, and you'll continue to be art even after he's gone" -Charlotte Geier.
