Some people say that they wouldn’t wish heartache upon anyone, not even their worst enemy, but I wish it upon everyone. I believe that everybody should have the opportunity to suffer through a heartache at least once in their lifetime. Having your heart broken sucks, it truly does, but the process that comes afterwards is beautiful; I view it as a work of art.

Heartbreaks will tear you down, rip you to shreds, make you wish that you never met that person, and cause 4am bawling sessions on the bathroom floor as you overthink and wonder why you weren’t good enough. They’re painful, excruciating, and horrific. But they’re also unique, empowering, and enlightening. They force you to question what really matters in life and who you are as a person. You learn so much about yourself. I know this because I’ve been there. It took being emotionally mutilated in order for me to discover who I really am.

People get over their exes however they see fit. Whether it’s downing twelve shots of vodka, reading a good book, getting high as hell, watching all ten seasons of Friends on Netflix, getting under someone else, or binge eating chicken nuggets, people have to do whatever makes them feel something. Whatever it takes to make them feel alive, they’ll do it. Here’s the thing though, the pain that you feel is what lets you know you’re alive. All emotions are beautiful and should be expressed; they’re nothing to be embarrassed about.

My advice to the broken:

• Take as much time as you need to be alone without shutting out the people who do love you.
• Order that stuffed crust pizza without any shame, and yeah, go ahead and buy the biggest tub of ice cream available.
• Sleep.
• Be genuine towards everyone. Kindness matters.
• Self-reflect.
• Never regret ANYTHING.
• Do what you need to do.
• Pet a dog. If you don’t have one, visit your local animal shelter. Our furry, four-legged friends need love too.
• Never change who you are.
• Keep a positive mindset.
• Invest your heart into your friendships.
• Put yourself in your ex's shoes and, no matter how hard it is, try to understand why they did the things they chose to do. Above all else, be understanding.
• Not everyone deserves to be forgiven. Forgive them anyways.
• Don’t hold grudges, you don’t need that negativity in your life.
• Smile, it looks good on you.
• Give time, time.
• Don’t hate, it’s exhausting.
• Don’t miss your life because it doesn’t happen twice.

Things to remember that helped get me through some of the toughest times in my life:

• Not everyone you meet is intended to be a blessing.
• Not everyone has the best intentions for you.
• Emotions are uncontrollable. You cannot get mad at somebody for the way they feel and nothing is more upsetting than someone being ridiculed for their emotions.
• Not everybody you lose is a loss.
• To the wrong person, you aren’t valuable.
• If somebody acts like they don’t care, believe them. They don’t.
• God has a plan for you, and you should smile because I know it’s a great one. Trust Him.
• What’s meant to be will always find a way.
• Someday, this pain that you’re feeling will be nothing but a distant memory. The pain that you think is going to last forever, won’t.
• You can’t make someone love you.
• Dating is a test to see if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. If, throughout your time together, one of you realizes that the other person isn’t who you want to be with, you can’t beat yourself up when it ends. You can’t get mad at somebody for not seeing what they want in you.
• Be better, not bitter.
• Life is too beautiful to be unhappy.
• No matter how much you want it, not everything has a happy ending.
• Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened and thank them for the memories and the lessons learned.
• In the end, you lost somebody who doesn’t love you. They lost somebody who would cross oceans for them. They lost somebody who looks at them like they put the stars in the sky. They lost somebody who would have done anything to see a smile on their face.
• Everything happens for a reason.

Heartbreaks are like a storm. When it’s over, you aren’t going to remember how you survived. You aren’t going to remember all of the little details that once wrecked you. You won’t even be able to describe exactly how you felt. Please know that what doesn’t kill you truly does make you stronger and I don’t give a shit about how cliché that sounds because it’s true. One thing’s for sure, when the storm is over, you aren’t going to be the same person you were before because you’re going to construct a new perspective of life. That’s what I mean when I tell you that the process of a heartbreak is one of the most beautiful things you can ever experience. You have to get hurt. That’s how you learn.

“In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.”

– Mitch Albom

Don’t be afraid to love again.