I don't expect you to understand why I did what I did. Despite how I chose to come about it there was going to be pain; we were both going to hurt. I wish I could've warned you, given you a heads up of what I was doing but I knew what you'd do. Unintentionally, you would talk me out of it, and I'd go back to loving you the way I always had. Losing you was the hardest thing I'll ever have to do but we both needed better. To love someone like you I had to lose myself, and that, I could not do any longer.
For the years I had known you, you'd been my whole life, you were everything I needed. You were my first love, a love that was so painful, so innocent, and so misplaced. I wanted nothing but the best for us and that’s not what we would receive. Instead we got heartbreak, (more me than you), instead we got lies, instead we got hurt. Maybe the lies are what tore us apart.
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Don't think for a moment you weren't what I needed because at some point you were everything to me, I'm just not at that point any more. It was hard to see myself without you, it was like pieces of my heart were falling out but I couldn't let that stop me. We both had to be happy and for some time I could tell we weren't.
You never showed me the love I showed you and I suppose that’s what hurt the most, yet, for some reason I still found a way to love you. I couldn't watch us be this way any longer, I couldn't be unhappy anymore, and I couldn't watch myself fade away. So I let you go, piece by piece, day by day, I let you be free of me.
We never belonged together despite what people said, I would never be your equal and you could never find a way to love me the way I did you. I had to finally realize I was loving you between a brick wall. You couldn't give me anything back the wall was too big.
One day you'll understand. One day you'll see me and understand why I did what I did. One day you'll realize we needed our lives and for that we couldn't have each other any longer. That brick wall was all we saw on the path we were taking, a path that had no road map, an endless path of nothing. I needed my life, I needed more, but you didn't need me, you never needed me. I don't know if you think of me anymore, or look back at the memories we once had but I do. Even with the way we let things end I still only wish the best for you. Despite what you think of me, I'll always have room to love you, but I love you so much I had to let you go.
