The holidays were really rough for me last year. On top of losing my dad, my over year-and-a-half-long relationship with my ex-girlfriend, the longest I have had to date, fell apart less than a month later between Christmas and the New Year.
This led to a big shift in thought for me, and there have been a lot of things that I have realized since. In the days, weeks, and months following the heartbreak, I learned a lot about myself. These five insights helped me tons- hopefully, they can help you too.
1. First things first is to take time for yourself
After such a long time giving your all to someone, you might feel drained both emotionally and physically. The situational depression will hit hard, and frankly, there is a good chance that the last thing you will want to do is get out of bed; but you need to. Hang out with friends, get outside and get some vitamin D, go for drives, and listen to music, go get McDonald's, anything and everything to get you moving and active. The more you have to do, the less time you have to think about the heartache.
2. Don't move too fast to find someone else
Allowing yourself time to be single can be one of the most important things in a breakup. It allows you time to think about what you really want in future relationships. I know that it's hard to be alone at first, but you know yourself better than anybody else. Allow time to expand upon that. You don't need someone immediately, trust me.
3. It's OK to have Tinder or Bumble
There's no shame in putting yourself back out there, just make sure that you're really ready to. Making an account on a dating site or app is completely fine. Who's to judge how you get yourself out there again? Just be safe about how you do it.
4. Don't settle for anyone, no matter what
Don't settle except for the love you think you deserve. If you're planning on putting your all into a relationship, make sure that you're going to get their all in return. The last thing you need is to put yourself in a situation where you're questioning if you want to be with the person you're with. Be honest with yourself- if it isn't everything you imagined, you may need to switch things up.
5. You don't NEED to be with someone to find happiness
The most cliché of them all. When you're on your own, you have more time for friends, more time for family, more time for the things that you want to do. You shouldn't have to rely on someone for your happiness. That happiness should be something that you find yourself and yourself alone. Once you find that, you'll be 100% percent ready. A relationship can really flourish when both parties come into it knowing happiness. That way, you can build off of each other's contentment. No one has to be brought down to the other's level in order to drag them out of their sadness. When you both go in happy, things won't be as hard.
I won't lie to you- it's going to be hard at first (though you might already know that); but once you find the love for yourself that you need as a base, nothing will stop you. You will find that feeling again, just give it time. Until then, just be you. You may enjoy yourself more than you think.
