Wake Up & Dress Up 

You feeling a little more down than usual? You know what helps? Getting all gussied up - making an effort with your clothes. Then you can look in the mirror, give a little dance, and tell yourself, "Damn you looking good today!" Then listen to Lady Gaga and strut to work or to class.

Even if fashion isn't really your thing, wear your favorite pair of silly socks or choose to wear a color that is particularly appealing to you that day and makes you happy, or even wear crazy colored lipstick or eyeshadow if you're feeling extra brave.

This is about you. Making sure you feel a little better about yourself. This is such a small way of doing that, but it definitely helps. Train yourself to make an effort for yourself.

Don't listen to sad & depressing songs - JAM 

I will never understand this. DO. NOT. GLORIFY. YOUR. SORROW. Look, I get it, you're in a lot of pain and want someone to understand or relate because you feel alone. So you head to the "sad break up song" playlist on Spotify.

But like - why?

You're not helping yourself at all, you're just reminding yourself that you're in pain and life sucks right now, okay we get it, but don't you want something to counter the negative feelings and emotions rather than amplify it?

This is about you and getting yourself back on your feet and hit the ground running again.

Head for the Poker Face by Lady Gaga, head for the Elvis Presley, head for the baddie songs of Taylor Swift and Meghan Trainor.

LET'S GO, wake up, dress up, and turn up the TUNES and know that you deserve a great start to your day. Because this day is yours. Own the day. Put on that crown and stop letting it slip off your head.

Get Active 

This is probably one of the most important factors in picking yourself up from a heartbreak.

Get proactive. Join clubs, go work out (I know, I can see your scrunchy nose of disgust from here but let me tell you, it does wonders for your mental health, I would know), go to cheap concerts, go to movies, go on nature walks, discover new places in town, anything! Just be active.

One of the worst things you can do is have a stagnated schedule on a daily basis. Meaning: wake up, go to class/work, eat, head back home, Netflix, and then bed. This isn't doing anything for yourself. Like, at all. You know this, I don't even need to be telling you this.

Why settle for a life of boredom? Stimulate yourself. You deserve to have fun, you deserve to discover things and new people and new things about yourself you have so much to offer to the world. Don't let this heartbreak change that. Don't let this heartbreak define you, or you will be miserable and then you'll wonder why.

P.S. working out doesn't have to be scary. You can just go on the bike machine for a little bit or the step machine. Do what you want to try out. Don't stress yourself out, but your body needs to be active and the healthier the body - the healthier the mind, this is proven, go look it up if you don't believe me.

Practice Mindfulness 

Mindfulness is the key to keeping your cool, managing your emotions and regaining some sense of peace within yourself and your past.

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment, which will definitely help when you feel your mind and heart getting too caught up in the past. Things will get better once you stop clutching onto memories and words that either never happened or are too far in the past.

Read up on mindfulness and try some breathing exercises. I highly recommend downloading the Calm app. It helps with meditation, sleep and stress. Envelop yourself in the nature sounds it offers, and use the breathing exercises it offers. Think about things differently, try to think of your past as an observer - see things as they are, even if you don't want to. But be careful, don't demonize but also don't glamorize the person.

Be strict with your mind. You have more control over your mind than you think.

Get Outside

Nature is one of the best cures for overthinking, feeling overwhelmed and for escape. Nature is a natural healer.

Go take a hike - literally. Find some nice, happy trees (for you Bob Ross), breathe in the air and envelop yourself in nature. Notice the colors, walk and appreciate Mother Nature. Naturally, you'll feel lighter. Sit next to water. Take a couple hikes by yourself to clear your head or think. But don't think just to think - think with purpose.

Let nature enlighten you and teach you some things. Just notice nature. Note patterns, colors, noises and smells and take yourself into a different environment. Take yourself away from the chaos of everyday life and take time to just "be".

Being on your own and in nature helps you see things from different perspectives. It also helps you realize some things you haven't realized before.

So go find a happy tree, look at some happy clouds in the quiet and just relax for a little bit (maybe try leaving your phone back at home or turn it off for better results).

Go Socialize - Go Hang! 

... even if you don't feel like it.

Force yourself to go out when friends ask you. Get off your butt and go get some froyo or head to the mall if they want to. You have to make sure you're constantly moving - both emotionally and physically - forwards. Let yourself get distracted by doing other things, but listening to other and tuning into their lives.

Get out of your own head. Get out of your safe zone. Now is the time to explore, discover yourself and evolve. Stimulate your mind, stimulate your spirit and your heart. Fill it with other things. Fill it with compassion and laughter that friends provide.

Go to places you haven't been before, or places you haven't thought of going. Keep your body moving. Maintain the other relationships you have right now - don't destroy more friendships because of one broken one. You're gonna need your support group.

(But also be careful who you hang out with. Cope with this heartbreak in a healthy way in a healthy environment with healthy people)

Learn Something New 

Keep your mind sharp. Focus on other things. Stimulate your mind with things other than how sad you are. Not saying that you won't still be down in the dumps, but the more you rewire your brain to think about other things, the easier it will be to let go and get a move on with your life.

Don't neglect your grades - you have the potential of being a genius, getting all A's if you want and slaying those tests - so why not start now? Your grades are important, they get you that degree - so be dedicated to your academics.

Study up and learn about the things that really interest you. Get invested in current events, history, English, art - whatever it is, put your all into it. Focus on your academic passions instead of something that is gone and over with.

You're a smart cookie, so go get 'em tiger.

Go Cold Turkey 

Oh, girl. This is a hard one I know. But go cold turkey on whoever broke your heart, if you haven't already. If you have, don't you dare think about unblocking or adding them back on any social media platform. I don't care how curious you are about them, it's done. You're just digging a deeper, more harmful mental hole if you do so.

It ended for a reason. It's done. It's not the end of the world - you have so much yet you gotta go do. It's time to focus on yourself and only yourself. This is your prime time to be selfish, queen.

They're not the same person. You're not the same person. You cannot get the past back. Think of why it ended. Remember we are learning to not care about them and focus on ourselves. You cannot move forwards if you keep looking backwards.

You'll run into a wall.

Be the best for yourself, go get the best for yourself, and things end for a reason. You'll miss out on opportunities and other amazing life happenings if you keep obsessing something you can't change or get back.

Eat Healthy & Get Sleep 

Eating healthy actually promotes better mental health.

Check out this article from the mental health foundation about diet and mental health.

Your body and mind are intertwined, if you want to take care of your mind and heart, you have to make sure you're taking care of your body as well. Nourish and cherish your body. When you're healthy, your mood elevates for the better, making it easier to manage your emotions and feeling overall happier. (Here is an article about the connection between food and happiness if you'd like to do more research on the topic).

And of course - GET SOME SLEEP! Your brain and body needs a break, they need to relax as much as you do. This way you'll start off you happier and more energetic. You'll also be able to focus better on the things that matter. You'll be able to think and react clearly to your environment in the best way possible.

Go Find Yourself (& SLAY QUEEN!) 

After any break up, you sometimes feel like you lost yourself. As if the person took a chunk of you and you feel misplaced and a little lost. You won't feel like yourself for a while and you'll wonder where the girl you knew went.

Well, it's okay if a part of you got lost. But you aren't completely at a loss. This is an opportunity to grow, evolve, and build on your own personal foundation again. You'll get wiser, stronger, braver and you'll eventually become more whole as a person on your own. This is a time for you. Don't jump into anything while you're still hurting. It's not fair to yourself, and it's not fair to the other person as well.

Be gentle with yourself. Give your heart time to hurt, heal and mend. Give your heart and mind some patience.

Take care of your spirit. If you're religious or spiritual, take time to think, reflect, and trust in the universe. Even if you're not either of those, just take some time to yourself and let life unfold. Be patient. Trust in yourself, if nothing else. Believe in yourself.

Go do new things, try out new things, hang with new people, get into new hobbies or get back into the things you loved before - and always, always, always - SLAY.

As R.H sin, my favorite poet wrote, "you were golden before him, you'll be golden after" - she felt like feeling nothing, scene twenty-two