The common definition of patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”. But is that really something to strive for? Do you really want to make it a personal goal to be able to accept or tolerate suffering?

That sounds very difficult and not fun at all.

Psalm 37:7 commands us to “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways when they carry out their wicked schemes.” This translation of the word “patiently”, found in the Old Testament, frequently expresses the idea of “waiting on God”. Therefore, patience is meant to be a means to an end, not a resulting trait.

Many of us strive and pray for God to help us practice patience without truly understanding what we are asking. We don’t like how we get upset waiting in line or trying to deal with small children. It’s not “good Christian behavior” to have road rage or totally shut down after too many things go wrong.

But having patience isn’t just biting our tongues until the problem goes away. When you pray for God to teach you how to be patient, you are asking Him to teach you to wait for Him. God wants us to ask Him for help no matter how little the task. If He isn’t needed for something as simple as talking to your friends, then who’s to say you need Him with the bigger stuff too? Lots of people handle stressful things without God and they seem just fine! But they aren’t.

Handling things without God is a heavy burden.

But we say, “It's fine, God! I got this! I’ll let you know if I need help.” And we get so far down the road with our struggles and strife that we continue to take on task after task. Our hands are so full that we can’t see God with His hands out in offering to carry not some of the load, but all of it.

And sometimes, even when that last straw breaks your back, you don’t ask for help. Whether it be because of pride, ignorance, self-independence, or maybe even shame.

You can’t bear the thought of asking for help now after refusing aid so many times before. But just like the prodigal son’s return, “the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate!” (Luke 15:22-23) God welcomes us with open arms, not keeping the fact of our total rejection of Him fresh in His mind.

God is our hope.

When we face trials of many kinds and feel it in our hearts to persevere, it’s because we wait on the Lord to pull us through. He’s already won. So when we are stuck in our own personal “pits of despair”, and our whole world is tumbling down on us, we are told to “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction”. (Romans 12:12) For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but of strength in Him.

“Patience is achieved when one has waited for God before deciding which direction to walk in.”

We pray for God to give us patience in all sorts of forms, but it starts to feel like our prayers are “falling on deaf ears”. Often our desire is to take control and just do the best we can. But God doesn’t want us doing that! His Word tells us over and over that “the Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him” (Lam. 3:25). It’s His inevitable plan, and we need to patiently obey Him.

The Muslim religion has, essentially, three levels of patience that they believe should be strived for and continually practiced. The first of them is “Patience in worshipping Allah”.

This means to carry out the commands of Allah regularly with full sincerity to him and him alone and to do so with correct understanding. (Surah 98 of Quran)

Does it not dumbfound anyone else that they have more passion and place more value in waiting patiently on God than we do? We rush into things without God and pray for His help to do better the next time we find ourselves in that same situation, but we don’t ask Him to lead us in.

We act like God is just watching from the sidelines like a good sports coach- giving advice and shouting support from afar. But He’s not. He’s your teammate yelling for the ball because He has a good shot lined up, and you won’t throw it to Him.

To pursue patience, you must remember to pursue God first.

Jesus’s life on earth was spent being surrounded by ignorant, sinful people who- most of which- would never understand Him. He was even hated, despised, and mocked. Some people say He shouldn’t have let people walk all over Him. And what do you think? He definitely could’ve shown those Pharisees who was boss. But He didn’t. And maybe others see it as a weakness, but I see it differently. Jesus was so strongly connected with God that it didn’t matter what anyone on earth thought about Him or His character. He patiently waited on God because He understood that the only judgement about Him worth hearing was God’s.

“When He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously.” (1 Peter 2:24)

Patience is waiting for God’s judgement, because in the end, it’s the only one that will hold any weight.

The point of waiting on God is not to practice good Christian behavior by counting to ten before you speak. It’s understanding that we need God in every part of our decisions and lives. It’s learning the difference between going through trials with God on the sidelines and overcoming difficulties with Him holding our hand the whole way through. Remember that you are not alone in anything. When you wait on God, you put your hope in someone that always comes through with what is the best for you.

Patience is waiting on God’s timing, not your own.