Hazy-eyed and disappointed, I found myself scrolling through my Instagram feed one morning. I had planned the night before that this particular morning was going to be greater than usual. I was going to hop out of bed at the first sound of my alarm, full of energy, in a great mood and ready to start the day off at the gym. Well… it ended up not happening like that, obviously, because I was on Instagram an hour after my alarm had rung, and I had zero motivation to get out of bed and even less motivation to go to the gym.

So, there I was, a pathetic blanket burrito scrolling through pictures that I really cared nothing about, when something caught my attention and I suddenly stopped. I have to admit that I am one of those people who follows a million different fitness and health accounts, hoping that their pictures, tips and videos will ignite a desire in me to go work out. And on this morning, right in front of my eyes was a picture of some beautiful, toned women at the gym, and beneath it one of those long, exhausting comment rants, that nobody reads. I am usually annoyed by such things and I hastily swipe my finger up to avoid reading any bit of it, but that day I had nothing better to do, so I read it, and I am honestly so happy that I did because her words changed the way I look at myself.

For a long time, I have struggled with my body image. I would look at myself in the mirror and think I’m too small in the places that “should” be bigger, and too big in the places that “should” be smaller, or I am not toned enough, or I have fat arms and thighs… the list went on and on. On the outside I would act like I was perfectly in love with my body, but on the inside, I really wasn’t. I would judge myself based on what others looked like, ALL the time. I would have times where I would be in love with my body and really proud of it, but then the next day I would feel the complete opposite. I consider myself a pretty healthy person, I work out regularly, I am a vegetarian and I live an active lifestyle, but yet I constantly find myself in these ruts where I feel so poorly about my body, and I could never understand why. Well, on that lazy morning about a month ago, I finally realized why I find myself in these dark places. This realization changed the way I have been looking at myself lately, and it was all because of an Instagram post.

Like I stated before, this post was like your typical fitness gram. One of those selfies of a women showing her progress in a dirty gym mirror, with a lengthy comment below it. This comment was different though, it actually had a lot of inspirational and true statements, which I had never thought about before. I wanted to share some of this women’s wise words, because they really changed my perspective and I think that a lot of people struggle with their body image (especially women) and you deserve to hear this.

The poster, known as stohealthy on Instagram, starts out by saying that she is finally content with how her body looks, after many years of feeling differently, because she used to “[value] [her] worth on what [she] saw in the mirror every morning, rather than what kind of person [she] was.” This really resonated with me because I have been in this place many times before. Instead of focusing on the good things about me like my personality, I would focus on how I didn’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, and that type of thinking is NOT okay. Our society has slapped this image of what a women’s body “should” look like into our faces, and it is not an always an attainable goal. Your body and your mind is unique and you should value this.

Another thing she talks about is how she used to think that having abs and a flat stomach, and fitting into the smallest sizes is what would make her eternally happy, but she came to find that that wasn’t true. “No one cares whether you have abs, and if that is what people are basing their respect for you on, they can go F themselves.” Having abs is not always a signifier that you are healthy, and hurting yourself to attain that goal is not safe. One signifier of your health is your Body Mass Index, or BMI. Most health professionals agree that a healthy BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9 (you can calculate your BMI at www.nhlbi.nih.gov). Your flat stomach and toned legs should not necessarily matter and should not be what you base your self-worth on. Stohealthy says:

“What does matter is how you make others feel and how you make YOURSELF feel. Killing yourself at the gym every day and not eating enough does NOT make you feel good. Telling yourself you’re not good enough because you don’t look like a photoshopped fitness model on Instagram or Tumblr does NOT make you feel good."

This is the piece that really helped me out, what my body looks like shouldn’t be the totem of my happiness, what makes me happy is helping others. I do love working out, being active and eating healthy, but I do it because I want to and that is what makes me feel good, not because I am striving to look like a model. I don’t skip dessert, I don’t starve myself, and I don’t force myself to go to the gym every day. I don’t entirely have the mindset I want yet, but I do what I can and I do things in moderation. I am always trying to better myself, but for once in my life I am content with what I have and what I can do.

Also follow: stohealthy on Instagram, that is where I found the post. Sophie runs a great feed that motivates and inspires me.