Long distance relationships are hard and they bring in a lot of questions. One question is: how do we make this work? It's not going to be easy but there are ways for you and your S.O. to survive an LDR. Just remember, if you both are clear on the future and you both love each other, it'll be fine. You know what they say...love always finds a way.
Here are some healthy habits all long distance couples should practice:
Ask for personal items
Nothing is worse than when you are away and you miss their scent or the shirt they say is theirs but we know you stole it, and not having it. I made my boyfriend give me the shirt that he was wearing and for him to "stink" up a hoodie of his for me. Now, I have it and sleep in both depending on the weather. This keeps you from missing them too much on those lonely nights.
Be independentÂ
The way to keep a relationship strong is by going out and living your life. If you make your life revolve around them then it will put a strain on your conversations and put pressure on your S.O. Personally, I'm not super social and I like being alone but I went out (and had fun), which kept me from missing my boyfriend and also gave me awesome things to talk about!
Checking in everyday
Please, please check in every day. Even if it's for a minute or a quick conversation through text. It will take a lot of stress off of worrying where they are and what they are doing. It will give you a quick check in with how each other is doing and make you smile.
Good morning and good night texts
This goes along with the above but I'm going to make it its own point to emphasize how important it is. Send your love a text in the morning, it will make them smile as soon as they wake up and they will think of you as they fall asleep.
Communicate
Talk to your S.O. about any fears, anxieties, and concerns you may have throughout the LDR. Don't freak out over the distance and if you are freaking out, communicate that to your person so they can talk with you about the feelings you may be having.
Have couple time
It's really important to have couple time even when you are separated. Watch a movie over Skype or honestly, just talk and catch up. Bask in that person's presence and I suggest having a couple night once a week, at a minimum. But really it matters what you guys are like as a couple, what works for me, may not work for you.
Video sex
Speaking of couple time, be sure to have some sexual encounters in there. I know some people don't like doing things on camera (and be careful if you do) but even some dirty talk will keep your sex life spicy. If you don't know how or where to start, just say "I want you" and go from there.
Send care packages
Send each other things that remind you of them or just things you think will make them smile. Care packages show you care and that you pay attention to your S.O. and the things they want.
Be proud of your S.O.
When it gets really hard, think about how proud you are of them for leaving everything and everyone they know and taking on a new adventure. Every day when you feel that pang remind yourself that you each are independent people doing amazing things on your own. When you reunite, you will be two stronger people made into an even stronger couple!
No online fighting
And by online, I mean texting and email. If you are upset, call them and talk it through. TALK. Yelling gets you nowhere and the distance can make things worse if you don't talk it out right away.
Write letters
Write letters every day. You don't have to send them but put thoughts to your S.O. on paper and keep them. Do it every day and it's almost like talking to them. It is also something you can keep for memories, even after being reunited with your love.
Play online games together
Go download Game Pigeon for an iPhone or find something like it. It keeps you guys in contact but in a fun, relaxed way.
Make plans for the future
Some say not to do this but I think it's perfectly healthy to make plans BUT you have to come through on them. The plans have to be legit. You also need a clear end date of when the LDR will end or have a conversation about what each of you expects in this LDR. For example, "How long will this BE and LDR?"
All these things should make your relationship super strong during your LDR! Good luck and know that it isn't easy, but it's worth it!
