Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. -Mahatma Gandhi
Everyone hopes for their life story to have an incredible ending, but what does that actually mean? At what point is the "ending" reached? Disney might suggest that it's when the day is saved, everything is good and whole, and a princess's "happily ever after" can finally begin. This ideal of a happy ending is misguided at best. Over time, I've come to realize that rather than striving to eventually be happy, it bodes better to be happy now. Achieving this continuum of happiness isn't always easy, but it's far from impossible. If you want to start living a better life, then pick up some of these healthy habits of chronically happy people:
1. Distance yourself from toxic people.
This is the hardest step to achieving happiness, but it is also the most important. The difficulty with this is that someone toxic enough to actively inhibit your happiness most likely is someone very close to your heart. This may be a best friend, significant other, old flame, or even a family member–regardless of who this may be, if they continuously do or say things to bring you down, then they must go. This doesn't necessarily mean that this individual is a bad person, but it does mean that they are bad for you. Anyone who has the power to bring out the worst in you, make you feel unlike yourself, make you self-conscious, or make you see yourself in a negative light isn't someone worth spending time with. Let them go, it's the best for both parties.
2. Move away from toxic places.
Whether it be toxic people or toxic places, the damage is the same. Why anyone would want to stay in a place they dread is beyond me, but it is understandably terrifying to take such a drastic and life-changing step. Maybe you don't like your workplace or school, and moving away from this is easier said than done. Take a step back and consider why you're so unhappy: Is it the environment, the people, or the conduct? If it's the people, hopefully the solution is as easy as associating yourself with different people. If that's not an option, or if it's the environment/conduct, then think about whether or not you're spending your life doing what you actually want to be doing. If you're not, then it's time to explore different options. Drastic and life changing isn't a bad thing; if it's for your own happiness, then it is unarguably the best choice. Don't end up stuck in a place you don't want to be for the rest of your life.
3. Lead a healthier lifestyle.
If you live healthier, you look and feel better. Not only will this boost your self-esteem, but you'll become an inspiration for your friends and family. While we're young, we fail to recognize how far being healthy can take us. As someone who works in a hospital, I estimate that at least 70% of people's problems stem from their unhealthy lifestyles. Whether they're overweight (causing diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a myriad of other problems), smokers (causing COPD, lung cancer, and cardiovascular diseases), or drug/alcohol abusers (liver diseases, heart diseases, strokes, cancer, hepatitis, etc.), they all could benefit from a little TLC for their bodies. The problems stemming from unhealthy lifestyles cost too much money, push loved ones away, force you into frequent hospital visits, and result in having to consume many medications with adverse side effects. Take steps now to prevent yourself from being in this situation. Feel good, look good, do good, and be happy.
4. Surround yourself with optimists.
Nothing contributes more to unhappiness than being surrounded by Debbie Downers. This goes back to eliminating toxic people: again, these people aren't necessarily evil, but they do need to take a step back and work on themselves as much as you do. If you're unhappy, and your roommate, best friend, significant other, or whoever you spend a great deal of your time with is also unhappy, all that happens is that you continue to bring each other down. You're going to start believing that not only is your life bad, but others' lives are bad, and that nothing will get better. Don't do this to yourself or to the person you're sharing sorrows with. Surround yourself with uplifting, inspiring, and positive people. This may be irritating at first, but as you start picking up on their habit of optimism, you'll start to appreciate having them as a friend.
5. Take some time for self-reflection.
You don't have to start a journal or go to therapy, but the benefits of self reflection are unparalleled. This healthy habit can look different for everyone. I personally fulfill this by writing down 1 good thing that happened at the end of each day in a small notebook. This allows me to see the collective positives in my life rather than dwell on the bad. Other ways of self reflection include keeping a diary, running a blog, meditating, or simply spending some quiet time alone to think. Spending time alone in your mind can contribute to unhappiness just as much as it can contribute to happiness, so be sure to focus on the gratifying parts rather than the set-backs. If you can't come up with anything significant, then read about something happy. Sometimes, sharing in the happiness of others (refer to habit #4) can help us feel happier as well.
6. Live for yourself, not for others.
This habit is one that all the people-pleasers of the world should pick up. Sometimes, we get so caught up in making sure everyone else is happy, that we have done everything as they would want it, that we give 100% of ourselves to them to only get 50% in return. This needs to stop. Empowering others to lead happy lives is not a bad thing, but when it comes at the cost of your own well-being, there isn't a net benefit, and if anything, there is a net loss in the quality of your life. The problem persists when we do things that we normally wouldn't simply because it keeps the peace or fulfills someone else's wishes. When we should be giving 100% to ourselves, we give it to others instead. Stop living for others, and start living for yourself: make sure that you are happy, that you are living life the way you want to live it, and that you put yourself and your own mental health and general well-being first.
7. Focus on the present
We're all guilty of getting caught up in obsessing about our futures. We spend so much thinking about the life we want to lead rather than simply leading it. If we're not looking forward, we're constantly found look backward, thinking about what could have been, should have been, the things we wanted, etc. While we get lost in our past and uncertain futures, the present slips right by us, unnoticed and untouched. Things don't change, steps toward that ideal future aren't taken, and we end up stuck in this whirlwind of ideas and desires only to wake up one day feeling it's too late. Don't let it be too late. Start living the life you want today so that you have a lifetime to enjoy it.
You deserve every joy this world has to offer, and not embracing that is an injustice to yourself. Pick up one of these healthy habits, or at the very least, find something to laugh about every day. It's good for your soul.
