Emotional abuse can be interpreted and perceived in many different ways. Emotional abuse is not simply an insulting, emotionally distant partner who cares more about their life than yours; it goes much deeper than that. Emotional abuse is when your partner uses your own mental struggles against you. Emotional abuse is when your partner makes you feel as though you are never good enough and can never do enough to please them. Emotional abuse is when you get a sinking feeling when you see your partner's car even long after you have cut ties.
Escaping from these relationships is not an easy task whatsoever. Most of the time, victims may not even sense that they are being emotionally abused because the abusers are manipulative, controlling, and have your emotions right in their hand, making you extremely vulnerable. However, once you are free, your mental health and emotional state are distorted even as the world keeps turning. You are damaged because of your abuser; you will spend months untangling knots in your chest and skimming over every detail of the relationship wondering what went wrong and how you missed the warning signs. Even though the bad memories and realizations of the terror of the relationship linger, life will go on and you will become stronger because of it.
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You will learn the warning signs and notice red flags a lot quicker in your friendships and new relationships. While this may protect you from troubling relationships in the long run, you may tend to be too cautious nowadays. Your abuser may have made you feel incompetent unless you were doing everything in your power to keep them satisfied. This rubs off on the victim, sadly. However, your walls will slowly be able to come down again one day when you see the truth in beauty in your close friendships and relationships. It will take time, but it is all quite possible.
Most importantly, you will learn what it's like to breathe on your own again. Emotional abusers tend to make their victims feel dependent on them and that losing them is like losing a limb. After the breakup, it is normal for the victim to feel lost because they have given up so many pieces of themselves to their abusers whether they realized it or not. Eventually, you will be able to function as yourself again; this sense of oneness comes sooner to some than others. Truthfully, it is a beautiful feeling to be content with yourself by yourself with no pressure and guilt from your abuser looming over you.
While this is a slow but sure process, there is no reason as to why you must halt your love life. Once you get over the minor fears and worries of stumbling upon another abuser, you will be able to sense how sincere people are a lot earlier on in a relationship. You will have learned to ask the right questions to people before you get too deeply involved with them. Forming new relationships with people may be a slower process now, but that is alright because abuse is not an easy thing to heal from. Even as life goes on, you will still be healing and learning about your abuse. Bad memories will transform into very important lessons as will your anxieties, guilt, and troubles. The road is not easy; it is long and treacherous. You will find yourself again and be able to get on with life without the baggage of your relationship.
