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Healing At Your Own Pace

Please don't feel you need to rush the healing of your broken heart.

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Healing At Your Own Pace
Jasmine Paragas

This is not a race. Please don't feel you need to rush the healing of your broken heart. You do not have to be okay tomorrow, the next day and especially not right now.

But we do need to move forward at our own pace and the first step to that is acceptance. We need to accept that this is the situation we are in and this pain we feel will not go away as soon as we want it too.

I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that it still hurts. I’m sorry that it feels like you’ll never recover.

But I promise you, you will. I understand you. I understand how much it hurts. I understand the pain of a broken heart.

Regardless of the mistakes, we’ve made. Regardless of the pain that other people have intentionally or unintentionally brought onto us. Regardless if that person will never be back in our lives anymore...

You and I will recover from this broken heart.

But it will take time. It might take weeks, months, or even years. It varies to person to person and the responsibility of it all will be on us because the one thing we’re going to have to do more than therapy, distracting ourselves with a new hobby, or constantly being with friends is just learning to endure through it.

You and I are going to need to endure, the late nights of over thinking, reminiscing and beating ourselves up for mistakes we’ve committed in the past.

Sometimes we’re stuck in this constant state of knowing what’s best but still feeling terrible and upset. We even have friends that give us advice and affirmation but sometimes those things don't matter if we can't endure the pain.

We sometimes try to rush the healing process by overwhelming ourselves with a multitude of hobbies, work, and school hoping it will make the pain easier to bear and impossible to think about what’s wrong. But we are not healing. We are distracting ourselves and we are not letting ourselves accept the situation. We are not forgiving ourselves but instead running away because we are not strong enough or ready to accept reality.

We will enter a place of self-denial where we ignore the pain, refuse to cry about it and pretend that we don’t need anyone’s help. We tell friends and family, ”I’m okay”, “I’m over it”, or “It’s whatever.” But the loneliness that hits us late at night isn’t worth it when our pride and stubbornness won’t let us reach out to a friend for comfort.

We’ll find ourselves comparing our own unique situations with others and wondering how come they’re okay, they’ve survived but how come it feels like I haven’t moved an inch. But I’ve realized that everyone has become who they are through the things they’ve gone through in their past. Their lives have been shaped, changed, and molded into a different person than you and I are.

There’s a clear distinction between challenging and overwhelming yourself. It’s hard but you and I will need to learn how to do things without being tiring ourselves out, being petty, being angry, or acting selfishly.

But what will help you endure is finding the right people for support, a hobby or passion that can give life a healthier and happier meaning and a lot of accepting that you and I are wonderful and we deserve to be happy.

Time does not heal scars. But one day when we happen to look at them we’ll realize that they don’t hurt anymore and that’s when you and I will know, we've made it, we’re healed.

But until we get there let’s endure and heal at our own pace.

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