Last week’s article was about how I have found a second home in Ohio. But this week, as I near my departure to Bombay, I am writing about all the thoughts that are arising in my head now that I’m going back “home” after a year!

One of my biggest concerns is the food! And I’ll tell you why! So, last week my boss took me to an Indian restaurant and the server asked me if I wanted my kebab to be mild, hot, or Indian hot. Like a wus*y I said hot and not Indian hot and even that made me cry! #WhathasAmericadonetome? I was quite ashamed. Later that same night, I ate my leftovers and there were no tears, so that’s at least something. But you see why it is my biggest concern? I am a hardcore spice eater, more so than my parents, so this is a competition with my older self, people. It’s important I win!

I’m also thinking about how much must have changed in the last one year; whether the same restaurants are popular or not, if my friends have new hangout spots, are my grandparents still trying to figure out how their gadgets work? They probably are :P

I’m going to see my paternal grandmother after two years. She couldn’t come visit me the last two times I went home. I am looking forward to our late night natters :)

Another fear includes all the questions I will be asked by friends, relatives, and literally everyone that lives around me. It is more the fear of boredom than it is of the questions really. So, I have smartly arranged for two occasions where all my relatives and friends (respectively) will be in one place. Ergo, I will have to answer every question only once (or twice?)! #suchagenius :P

Moreover, I will turn 21 two days after I land. So, that should be interesting. I don’t know how it will feel to walk into a bar and not feel like I’m doing something illegal. We’ll see about that :P

This is also the first time I’m going back home after breaking up with a long-time boyfriend. So, nobody has really seen me since my major downfall last year. I am excited to be with friends and family and to finally be able to hug them for all the times that I wish they had been closer.

Moving on to the happier side because who likes being sad? My best friend from America is visiting me and I am thrilled beyond bounds. Hopefully, I will be able to materialize all the elaborate Monica-like plans I have in my head currently.

My closest friends are coming back from different cities to see me and the mind says I need to live up to their love. I think I will. #stupidfriendswholoveyoutoomuch I love you guys too (because I know you’re reading!).

In the last week, I have made a list of all the things I want to eat while I’m in India. I keep sending an updated list to my grandma so she doesn’t forget and all she says is, “Just get back here. You will have it all.” #grandmas #TheresNoOutcompetingThem

The thought of not having to do laundry for 3 weeks is also pretty elating. That’s 3 loads/circles saved. Think about how happy my detergent must be.

On a slightly more serious note, what I’m really enthusiastic about is distributing gifts, even though it cost me my whole summer salary :P #IDidNotPromiseNoSarcasm I love seeing people’s reactions when they receive gifts. I hope I did a good job of evaluating what every person may like or need. #ThatstheMathMajorInMeTalking

Above all, I cannot wait to see my parents. I know they went through all my tough times with me and it tore them apart to see me upset but there was very little they could do about it from thousands of miles away. So, now, I will make up with a genuine smile and lots of kisses.

I know my mom started telling our dogs that their akka (Konkani for “elder sister”) will be home soon when 30 days were left and of course she was counting for herself. There’s a reason we love mothers the way we do. They deserve every bit of it. And yeah, 30 days is a lot but when you’re going back after a year, a month is just 1/12^th of the 12 parts left and that will make any mother restless, anxious, eager and impatient. #gottalovemommy

There are so many things I’ve learned to value in this time away because I’ve never been away from home this long. I’ve learnt how much I love and miss my family and my dogs (I’m not a pet person so who would’ve guessed that?), I’ve learnt which friends will actually stand by me through my absolute worst, I’ve learnt how to pull myself together on my own, I’ve learnt to create my own happiness, I’ve learnt how to love again and most importantly, I’ve learnt how to survive failure.

It feels nice to have the strength to be able to stay away from my loved ones, especially after personal losses (yes, the breakup but also the death of my caretaker of many, many years). Nevertheless, it also scares me a little to think, “What if I don’t go back until after graduation? What if I’ve grown so strong that I can actually pull that off?” It is a daunting thought, however, proud I may be of myself.

The last few thoughts are about how I’m ecstatic about stepping foot into my own home, and smelling the unique smell of my own house. Every house has a smell and we all know that no other place will ever have the same aroma!

Oh, Bombay! You have been a good city in my absence. I cannot wait to see you again and embrace you with all your eccentricities, pollution, street food, energy and vibe!

But more than anything, I cannot wait to go and lie in my mom’s lap. There is something mystic about lying there and keeping my head on her tummy that I know will make up for a year full of longing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I spent 9 months on the other side of it ;)

See you soon familia! #1weektogo