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He isn't worth it.

I will tell myself again and again until I am at peace.

Katherine Avery

Sep 02, 2016

Atlanta, Georgia

196

I’m feel scared to live because I’m afraid I’ll have my heart ripped out more viciously this time. I feel like life wants me to fall and feel miserable. Nothing ever seems to work out with a significant other, whether I pursue it or I don’t. I have been ill. I can't sit still, can't think. I desire all the love and support I can get.

He left me for another girl. He ghosted me then I see him with another girl on social media.

What a monster. How dare you do the same thing that was done to me back when my ex and I were sixteen. You are in your mid-twenties. This kind of behavior should be non-existent with someone your age. I know I’m worth more than that. So why can't you see it? I wish I didn't care what you think of me.

I am better than this. I think. I he doesn't talk about me like I'm a joke. I’m not just a “little girl." Right? When will I learn to love myself without a guy? CAN I even learn to love myself without someone in the picture?

I have got to keep in mind that I'm on a good path. I'm in college, making good grades, I have some amazing friends. I can’t break guys. I can’t give up because of heart break.

At the same time, I feel like anyone who breaks my heart should be punished. Jesus Christ. What is going through is head? Does he think I'm stupid enough just not to care?

I'm on my knees, begging for help. I’m devastated and I can’t get his face out of my head.

I’ve been taking so many risks in my life, and I don’t know if I completely like it. I should maybe stop and calm down. I’m not at peace with myself, and forcing myself out of my comfort zone only gives me anxiety. I don’t know why I do the things I do. Sometimes I hope for a good reaction. My friends tell me I need to reach out to someone professional, I think they're right. It will be the only way to feel normal again.

I just have to remember, when I'm having these anxiety episodes, that I’m stronger than I think. He is not worth it. I will say it a million times until I can learn. I will say it until I can no longer see his face when I close my eyes. I'm afraid of him. Isn't it funny how admiration can turn into fear?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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He isn't worth it.

I will tell myself again and again until I am at peace.

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For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

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