Many thoughts ran through my mind when I sat down to write this article. My initial reaction was to lash out at the blank page with all of my anger and disappointment, but it quickly fizzled out to nothing but emotional exhaustion. I tried to take an optimistic angle, but even I felt like I was lying to myself. I don't feel optimistic, and I don't feel ready to simply accept the outcome and move on. How can I, when my dearest friends are too scared to exercise their religious freedoms on the street, or are so unsure of their own future that they've already spiraled into a fear-induced depression?

I want to be wrong about him. I desperately want to be wrong and for him to prove to our nation that in some way, he could be the leader we need. I don't want to be right and have our country fall apart at the seams because of a single man who has dangerously divided our country. As an American citizen, I want for him to be the person for the job, but the evidence I've seen as of late has completely dashed my hopes.

I finally came to my conclusion once I turned the TV off and took a moment for reflection. The man is so unpredictable and volatile, that I just can't get a read on him. Besides the obvious sexism, racism, and all around mean spiritedness, I can't predict what he's going to do for, or to, our country. I fear the unknown. I fear for the LGBTQ community, I fear for the Muslim community, and truthfully, any minority community in general. And if that's how I feel as a straight, white female, can you imagine how they feel? How they feel just walking down the street? Hearing my best friends crying over the phone in fear of their own president has lodged itself in my mind, and to me, that sound is a representation of my feelings for...him.

If anything, this experience has taught me a valuable lesson. You can bet I voted in this election, but it has reminded me how important it is to be active in our government and to exercise the power we have. Sometimes we feel as though we don't have a voice in our government, and that can sometimes hinder our results, but truthfully, it's so important to get out to vote for what you believe in and let your voice be heard. We might think that it won't matter, that WE don't matter, but we're wrong. Every person counts.

As much as I will try to look to the future with love in my heart rather than hate, I am not finished discussing and debating the matter. We are not done standing up for what we believe in, and until our country learns that love trumps hate, we won't be for a long time to come. He does not deserve my respect; he will have to earn my respect.