He chases you around the playground because he likes you. He teases you because he likes you. He copies you because he likes you. He follows you around because he likes you. He pulls your hair because he likes you. He hitsyou…because he likes you?
From the time we’re walking and talking, we’re told that boys will be boys and girls will be girls. But, what does that mean exactly? Boys will be boys and play with their toys—except I’m not a toy and neither is anyone else. If we allow boys to treat girls as their toys we reinforce this same behavior for later on in their lives. So if a boy hits, teases and stalks her because he likes her now, what will he do later? After all, he was raised to believe that abusive behavior was another way to show affection.
Ladies, we’re not off the hook, either; in fact, we’re told to keep boys on it. We need to give a little to keep them interested, but not too much because who wants a girl who gives it up easy? So we tease back, but that word has taken on a completely different meaning by now. We play mind games, hoping to "pass go" and collect our prize if we play well enough. We should snatch him up while we can because there’s plenty of time to get to know him after, right? So if a girl plays with his mind because she likes him now, what will she do later? After all, she was raised to believe that games and tricks were another way to show interest.
When are we going to stop treating people like objects?
Girls aren’t toys, and boys aren’t game pieces. We are human beings with real feelings, thoughts and desires. It’s how we go about showing those desires that matters, though. If you like someone, pursue them. Show them how you feel in the small, innocent ways. Hold his hand, kiss her forehead and tell them how much you absolutely admire and adore them. Destroy them in a game of pool or Mario Kart, then go ahead and let them win a couple of times to build them back up. Have fun and enjoy one another.
When we stop romanticizing abusive behaviors, we’ll all be better able to have happy, healthy relationships.
Movies and books that promote ideas such as stoicism over satisfaction *cue "Casablanca"* lead men to believe that they can’t show their actual feelings about someone without being less of a man. When women are shown that unknowingly being watched while sleeping or being whipped and chained *hey there "Twilight" and "50 Shades of Grey"* are ways to be intimate we’ll be lead to believe we’re less than keeping our own identities. Whatever happened to real romance? The sweep-you-off-your-feet, heart clinching ache of romance. Where did we leave it? When did we leave it behind? Why did we think today’s take on romance would be better than before? More importantly, where will we go from here…
Although it may be cliché, we all need to be the change that we want to see. If you want to be pursued in a healthy way, encourage your pursuer in an equally healthy way. Don’t buy into the gimmicks that say you need to be treated like less. We all deserve to be romanced, and it’s time we changed what that word means.
