She was supposed to be at the fair with her friends the whole day yesterday, she never expected to spend half of the time with him and his friends too, much less to make out with him in the funhouse. After all those years secretly in love with him, what makes her wanna him any more desirable, heck what makes herself any more desirable to him. What is it that she likes in him? Is it his smile, the silly way he laughed, or how he stuck his tongue out when he knew he was being goofy. Is it the way he talked about random yet barely related topics to mess with her. Maybe its the way he always thought she's beautiful, that nothing about her was unattractive to him unless he was just messing with her (which by the way is one of his undesirable traits, or maybe not...)
Back in high school, she'd recall sitting on the fence in his back yard waiting for his attention, moreover waiting for him to commit to her, to finally accept that he loves her, and ultimately kiss her- all in the few seconds she was on that fence. That spot on the fence was her spot, she'd always sit there thinking like that, but for all she knew, he just thought that was just her plain favorite spot for no reason, as if the splintery wood did not hurt. She imagined him picking her up, like a backwards piggy back ride, and lean her back against the fence and kiss her there. Or maybe he'd jump up, standing on the bottom wooden board and kiss her once, but of course, evidently that kiss would end up with them engaging in multiple kisses.
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Why would she want to kiss him if he didn't share the same feelings for so long? Why should she if he didn't commit; how could he like her now anyway? Even if she still liked him there's no reason to kiss him after so much waiting and definitely now since she's now in college and away from him. And from hindsight, given all that, how did she fall for his way too corny pick up line involving cotton candy?
She didn't know how she fell for him -can we say "again"- but she didn't care, she likes him and kissing him didn't seem like a too bad idea. She thought that the business major in him and the new aura of maturity about him from college makes him seem attractive in a new way. It's the conversation and new confidence he didn't see in him before that seems to pull her close. She couldn't help but sleep over the fantasy of kissing him again. She loved the warmth of his chest on hers, just like she dreamed of for years; the in and out breath motions of his chest, the feeling of his lips on her lips, her neck. It was what she imagined happening in his backyard on his fence, or agains his willow tree. She would always imagine the singing fish and seagull from The Little Mermaid singing in the background.
To Be Continued...
