Physical abuse in a relationship is a serious and even somewhat common issue in today’s society.

However, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse is just as common and important of a problem. Unfortunately, there is nowhere near enough awareness for people to avoid these relationships, or to help others that are in them. People find this a taboo subject and would rather turn the other cheek than admit the terrible truths behind it. If there was more awareness promoted about the early signs of emotional abuse it would be much easier to avoid them or get out of them. Even more importantly, the stigma that society possesses about this issue and its victims needs to be changed. Victims are often seen as overdramatic and attention-seeking, thus holding them back from opening up about their struggle. Toxic, mentally abusive relationships are a real issue and it’s time that they get the awareness and the support that they deserve.

For six years of my adolescent life, I was in an abusive relationship. There were few times that I was pushed or hurt physically; however being verbally bullied and manipulated was a daily occurrence. The heart of the problem lied in the name-calling, the control, and the complete disrespect and disregard for my well-being.

If there was more awareness promoted about the early signs of emotional abuse and toxic relationships, I could have probably saved myself long before the six year mark. Because victims are often seen as dramatic and attention seeking, it took me a long time to share my story. But, finally sharing has helped me heal more than anything and even helped others in similar situations.

The following 10 signs are signs that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship. While some of these things are often overlooked as not being a real issue, they definitely are. Remember to look out for these things in your own relationship and those of the ones you love and care about.

1. He* doesn’t hit you but he tries to control all parts of your life.
2. He doesn’t hit you but he makes you seem/feel crazy for no reason.
3. He doesn’t hit you but tells you that you are worthless.
4. He doesn’t hit you but calls you names.
5. He doesn’t hit you but you’re not allowed to be friends with any person of the opposite sex. And even the same sex is becoming an issue.
6. He doesn’t hit you but you feel like you need permission to go out or do anything without him.
7. He doesn’t hit you but he belittles your dreams and goals.
8. He doesn’t hit you but he always accuses you of cheating (when he has no reason to).
9. He doesn’t hit you but he accuses you of being too sensitive to get away with saying mean things.
10. He doesn’t hit you but your soul is just as bruised as if he did.

Emotional, mental, and verbal abuse are horribly underrated forms of romantic relationship abuse. They are a part of daily life, causing harm, sadness, and even death to thousands of women. Experiencing this type of relationship firsthand really brought this issue to light for me. Finally realizing all of the warning signs and all of the scars that I will carry with me forever has helped me realize that this is a very under-acknowledged topic that needs more awareness, education, and support. Raising awareness on this issue and joining the fight against emotionally abusive relationships can help men and women all over the world who suffer on a daily basis.

*While I address the abuser as a "he" because of personal experience, abuse can happen in any relationship (male/female, female/female, male/male) with either person being the abuser or victim! If you think that you or someone you know may be in an abusive relationship please speak up about it.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

1-800-787-3224 (TDD)