“Do you want flowers on your birthday or for Valentine’s Day?”

This is a question that a guy I dated asked me last year and one that has been asked many times before that. I’m also quite sure it won’t be the last. You see, my birthday is February 9th, five days before Valentine’s Day. More often than not, people try to combine the two. It sucks.

I understand why they try to do it. Everything is more expensive around Valentine’s Day. Flowers, for example. Dessert of any kind. Even restaurants are more packed around this time of year. I should know, just the other day I had to go to three different places to try to find a wait time that was less than an hour. This is what happens when you don’t make reservations and Valentine’s Day is on a weekday.

Having your birthday right before or after Valentine’s Day sucks, especially if you’re single. You have to face two “holidays” back to back where you are reminded that you have no one. That photo of you on your birthday that you posted on Instagram is surrounded by couples doing adorable things for Valentine’s Day. Yeah, your mom got you the Modern Renaissance palette you’ve been lusting over for months but Cathy’s boyfriend got her a shiny necklace for Valentine’s Day.

I know you’re thinking it’s not as bad as having your birthday right before or after Christmas. I would have to disagree with you. I feel as if Christmas is a holiday that is spent celebrating family and friends. It’s like a birthday. You could argue that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday (but aren’t they all made up?) and you are being upstaged by couples expressing their love for each other. Which is something you every day now on social media, except on steroids. It’s the one time where you want it to be all about you and have to share the spotlight with a bunch of other strangers. But having your birthday around Christmas sucks too.

Don’t misunderstand, I love Valentine’s Day! I think it’s great that we have a day that everyone can express the love they have for one another. It just sucks that my birthday has to suffer the repercussions of it.

I totally feel like I get gypped when it comes to my birthday and Valentine’s Day, and I think the Christmas birthday kids would agree with me. You seem to get less, or made a lesser deal about our birthdays because there are other things that are going on. Valentine’s Day has aisles dedicated to reminding everyone that it’s this giant looming holiday. My birthday just has me, reminding people on Facebook not to forget about me.

“Both.” I said to the guy I was dating. I didn’t want to be cheating out of a celebration because my birthday happened to be near it. Some might think I’m being difficult, but if my birthday was in April instead I would expect flowers on my birthday and on Valentine’s Day. Why should this be any different?