Recently, I have taken a personality assessment that calculates the top five characteristics that I exhibit as a leader. According to my results, my number one leadership trait was restorative.

At first, I had no idea what this could possibly mean. With further investigation, I came to find out that being a restorative person is defined as someone who loves to solve problems. When I found out this definition, it made perfect sense. Growing up, the main goal that I had for myself every day was to, in some way, shape, or form, help someone with an issue that they were having. I wouldn’t feel fulfilled if there wasn’t something I could help someone with, no matter how big or small the problem was. But with everything else in life, this personality trait comes with positive and negative results.

Starting with the positive results, helping someone with their problems is just an overall satisfying feeling. You cannot tell me that it does not make you feel good knowing that you brightened someone’s day; guided them through a difficult, life-altering situation; or you were just a shoulder that they could cry on. I am a firm believer in good karma; therefore, helping people whenever they need it, even if you do not always want to help for whatever reason, will lead to good things coming your way.

But with every positive thing, there is always a negative thing to balance it out. I feel that the number one biggest flaw with being a restorative person is that, personally, whenever I help someone, I take their problems home with me. What I mean by this is that I become so engrossed with their problems that I easily put their life and their problems before my own life and my problems. I am more than willing to drop whatever I am doing, or what I am dealing with in my own life, to come to their rescue. Sometimes I feel that if people know about this trait that I possess, then it is accessible for them to take advantage of me, and it has happened to me before.

When I was in middle school (this poured into the beginning of high school, also), I was the kid that always did their homework and did it correctly. To say the least, I was more than qualified to assist others whenever they needed help. Because I consistently would help other students with their homework, that would be the only reason that anyone would talk to me. All of the “friends” that I thought had weren’t actually my friends.

It took me until I was a sophomore in high school to realize that I can’t be everyone’s knight in shining armor. It was then that I realized that the people who I would talk to and hang out with on a normal basis would not ask me for homework unless they really needed the help, they were my real friends.

Despite the fear of being taken advantage of and/or manipulated, I am proud of being a restorative person. With this personality trait, I feel that it is effortless for me to relate to others and build strong relationships with people. I feel that if people tried a little bit harder to find their restorative side, it would be simpler to live in harmony with everyone around you.