Recently I was scrolling through Instagram, as I do more often than I’d like to admit, and came across this quote:

“Looking good is secondary. Having a healthy relationship with your body should be the priority”

Finding this quote amid the toned, tanned stomachs and bodacious booties was literally like finding a diamond in the rough. Its simplicity and logic hit me hard and I felt it my responsibility to share these words of wisdom.

I have struggled with weight and body image issues since middle school. For years, when I looked in the mirror and saw a girl that was short, squat and soft; nothing like the tall, flat stomached girls I called my class mates. This image led me to start buying clothes in medium sizes which hung baggily on my size small frame, only making me look larger than I actually was. I wore tight tank tops under the few form fitting shirts I actually owned, which only served to emphasize the ‘gut’ that I was trying so desperately to hide. Exercising outside of sport's practices and games became a hate fueled activity and almost always followed by tears and chocolate. I hated the way I looked and because of that hatred, I didn't have a healthy relationship with my body or myself.

But I had it all wrong, and I didn’t realize it until I saw this quote.

If you don't like someone, you don't treat them very well. If you hate a homework assignment, you won’t put a lot of effort into it, maybe you won’t even do it. The same goes for your body. If you hate, or even just dislike your body it's harder to take care of it the way you should.

There is no easy way to get your ‘beach body’. Starving yourself or throwing your food back up is not only an unhealthy way to lose weight, but also a proven way to end up in a hospital, which as a rule, is not a place for healthy people. Constantly eating comfort food to make yourself feel better only increases the problem, creating a vicious cycle of self hate. Putting crazy internet diets to the test only serves to prove (yet again) that not everything you read on the internet is true.

So what is a healthy relationship? I mean, if you don't cheat with chocolate in this relationship you'll go crazy. To get to a healthy place you first have to accept your body. Focus on the parts of your body that you love. If you focus on the good, it's easier to find the good in the bad. I don't have a flat stomach, but I don’t have the gut that I always believed I had. Now, this doesn't mean you'll wake up overnight and suddenly have the washed board abs you've always wished for. But it does mean you'll start to like what you see in the mirror.

The number one reason why people give up on making a change is because they don't see the results. Being positive and already liking what you see, gives you a leg up on that statistic because you are no longer trying to change yourself from looking bad to good, but from looking good to looking just a little bit better.

Finally, make a change by doing what you love to do. Yes, everyone and their mother runs. But if you hate running, you will still hate it and eventually you will stop. Try a variety of tactics, from yoga to hiking all the way to cycling, find the one you love and stick to it. After all, “If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life”.

If you like your body, whether it's your ideal body or not, you'll begin to take care of it. And this healthy relationship with your body will not only keep you mentally and physically healthy, but also lead to looking better and feeling better in your own skin.