It seems like divorce is so common these days, even some of my friends' parents who I never imagined would get a divorce— got a divorce. Unfortunately it happened to me to, my parents separated when I was about 12. There are some people who excitedly wait for their parents to tell them they are getting a divorce, but it shouldn't be that way. The reality is that most the time divorce ends up hurting the kids the most, I am not saying people shouldn't get divorced but I am more so saying it shouldn't be something to want or be excited about (in most cases). It makes everything incredibly difficult, even still as an adult and especially during the Holidays and even more when you have a serious boyfriend or when you get married.

Right now I am dealing with several members of my mom's family being angry at me for choosing to spend one day with my boyfriend's mom (who lives 6 hours away btw) instead of going to one of our several traditions. I try my best to split my time up evenly, even my boyfriend does too. We are actually spending both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my mom and Christmas Evening and the day after with my dad. It seems like a never ending battle, if we don't do everything with one family they get mad and vice versa, and it puts me in a bad position because I want to spend time with his family but it seems like I can't do that without backlash from mine. My sister and her husband still have to justify their actions, and it is honestly super draining on us. We should be able to make our own decisions without comments like "oh you are staying TWO nights with your dad? that's not really fair."

Even when I was 18 years old I felt like I had to stick to the schedule agreed upon when I was 12 years old. I felt like I couldn't even spend the night at a friend's house without being made to feel guilty for not being at my mom's or not being with my dad's. Honestly that took such a toll on me that I just began to not stay at either place, the backlash and the little comments become never ending and you begin to feel like you can't do anything fair or right. Which is why I just gave up on that never-ending battle; I shouldn't have to justify all of my actions as an adult.

I wish divorce wasn't made out to be this happy thing, because my parents can't even be in the same room together. It affected my graduation parties, birthday parties, dance recitals/competitions, and in the future it will affect my wedding, my children, and any other events. So, to those who think you want your parents to divorce, I promise that you don't want to have to deal with the bitter reality of it.