Depression consumes you.
It takes you over until you forget who you are. No matter what you do to get yourself through it or out of it, you can't break away from that negative underlying feeling inside you. You wonder what it would feel like to be truly happy again and how long it will take for you to break from this awful feeling inside. Depression doesn't make anyone any less of a person.
Depression makes it difficult for you to get through the day. Little tasks like brushing your teeth and making tea in the morning exhaust you. All you want to do is lay in bed and be alone. It makes it hard to answer peoples' messages, study for a quiz, or take the dog outside. Most of the time, you feel lifeless and nothing can make you happy no matter how hard you try. You have become a slave to depression. It tells you when you're getting out of bed that day, what you're eating -- if anything -- and if you'll be able to get everything done that you'd like to.
You feel like you don't matter to people and even if you did, you wouldn't want to feel like a burden to them if they knew about your mental illness. Sometimes people who know you have depression make fun of you, deliberately make comments about being "ill" or make it seem like you're weak. You don't want to feel like they need to go out of their way to make you happy but you also don't want people to look at you like you're a joke. It's incredibly hard to explain to people what depression is for them to truly understand it. It's like the death eaters in Harry Potter are taking out all of your emotion. It's like listening to the sad song you turn to when you have a bad day every single moment of the day.
There are so many people that walk this earth that suffer from depression and you wouldn't even know it. The media shows depressed people as ones who seclude themselves and cry all day in a dark room of silence. Some people may deal with it that way, but most of the time it's people we interact with every day that seem "fine". There are celebrities that suffer from depression and we wouldn't even know. Even the people that society may say are perfect, aren't.
There is no right or wrong way to get out of depression. For some people, it may just "run it's course" like it does for me, for others -- it may need medication or serious help. One thing you need to remember is that it is not your fault for being depressed. You aren't alone. There are so many people that are going through exactly what you are going through. Speak up and tell someone you trust that you're feeling the way you do. You'll never know if the person next to you could help you get through such a rough time in your life or if they'll know someone else that can.
Having depression makes you a stronger person. You are not weak. The fact that you can go through something not everyone has or can understand makes you a solider. You're fighting a war with your own mind. You know what is right, you know that it's not okay, so you're fighting your battles in a way that others may not understand. Keep fighting, keep waking up everyday, and keep moving forward. Every morning you wake up is another battle won.
You have to stay positive even if the whole world around you feels empty.
