I've been in a relationship for four years, most of my friends are in long term relationships and even my seventeen-year-old sister has been with her boyfriend for almost a year.

Love is in the air, folks.

Here's the thing though:

I'm concerned that young people (single or in a relationship) have a mindset that being in a serious relationship has lots of rules of what you can and cannot do. I'm seeing people in relationships limiting themselves. I did some reflection on myself earlier this year and realized I had sunk into the same kind of mindset, but it wasn't my boyfriend who was limiting me or setting these rules.

It was me.

I don't want my little sister going through some of the most important years in her life thinking that her relationship is the only thing that defines her. That because she's in a relationship, she may be perfectly happy and in love, but she has to abide by these limits that she may not even realize are there.

I don't want that for myself. I don't want that for anyone.

Here are some tips I came up with to ensure that you don't lose yourself in your relationship:

1) Having a boyfriend doesn't mean he is your only friend

My boyfriend is at the top of my list of best friends along with my best girl friend. If your boyfriend is your best friend, that's okay! If your boyfriend is your only friend, that is not okay. I can't wrap my mind around girls who are content with having their boyfriend as their one and only friend. Your boyfriend cannot fulfill the things that your girl friends can. Plus, he needs time with his friends too. You each need a support system of more than one person.

2) Having a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't set and pursue your own goals

Please please please talk about goals with your significant other. Long term, shared goals are so important in a long term relationship, and its important to be on the same page, especially if you see yourselves together in the future. Equally as important, however, are your individual goals. Set your career goals high and pursue the heck out of them. Go to the college you want to go to. Take that internship in New York. Your relationship will survive if it's meant to be, I promise. Your significant other will (or should) support you the entire way through. Don't miss a once in a lifetime opportunity. You'll regret it.

3) Having a boyfriend doesn't mean you only grow together, and not individually

Do not put everything you have into your relationship and leave zero time, effort, or attention for other aspects of what makes you who you are. Study hard and strive for that 4.0. Go to church, even if your boyfriend doesn't want to go with you. Keep making time for that sport you love. Being in a long term relationship means you're growing together, not apart, and I love that. There's something special about being able to look back and think, "look at how far we've come!" But just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you should stop building and creating the best version of yourself as an individual.

4) Having a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't go out

This is especially important in college. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean you always have to stay in. It doesn't mean you can't go to a party with your girl friends. Think about it, you will never be in this kind of environment again, where you can dress up like aliens with your roommates and go to a party without guys on a Saturday night. Your relationship should definitely be at the point where you trust each other enough to be able to go out with your friends separately. I mean, go out with your boyfriend too! It's 100% fun and okay to go out and have fun together. Just don't forget that it's also 100% fun and okay to go out with your girls too.

5) Having a boyfriend doesn't mean you're missing out

Going out is fun, but so is staying at home in bed, eating pizza, and watching Buzzfeed Try Guys videos until 2am. There's not a single aspect of dating culture that I feel like I'm missing out on. We don't have to stress about whether or not he's going to text us back. We know that if we get sick they'll be there to take care of us. We know that if we're sad or happy, they'll be there no matter what. I have a road trip buddy, a dinner date every night, and a person to love and love me unconditionally. Some people love the single life, and some people love being in a relationship. The bottom line is no one one is missing out on anything if you're happy with your life.

These years as young adults are a whirlwind. There's so many aspects of right now that will affect your entire future. We're in the midst of finding and creating who we are. Having a boyfriend means you have someone to love and support you (and vice versa) through the whole process, and it's a huge blessing. Just don't get so lost in another person that you forget about yourself. Don't create limits that don't need to be there! Love fully, but be sure you're living fully as well.