A Revision and an Apology

Before I get into my article proper I want to do some backtracking. I recently got some much needed criticism on my last article, “Stop Searching for God’s Will This New Year.” My main conceit and purpose for writing that article was to argue that the notion of getting some kind of communication from God outside the bible for the directions we need in our lives is actually not a valid hope because God has finally and decisively spoken through His word. However, in writing this article, I unwittingly ignored the actual need for subjective guidance, which we all legitimately have. We do indeed need guidance on what to do for our career, whether or not to get married, whether or not to go into ministry, where to live, where to go to school, etc. etc. This advice is not, admittedly, directly in the bible. The careful and biblically guided evaluation of our circumstances however does require the guidance and direction of the Lord. The “missing link,” as it were, which I failed to mention was prayer and meditation. By prayer I mean the admission that our indwelling sin and our human frailty causes us to be weak and prone to choose wrong. By meditation, I mean praying to the Lord for clarity and deliberately thinking about scriptures and what you just read means for your life. By prayer, also,we admit that we trust God’s ultimate will, and that if we are His children then he will guide our lives to glorify Himself best.

However, real choices need to be made, and the choices we make are very important. My critic and good friend Jordan Howerton pointed this out in regards to the “tiers of decision.” At the first tier there are decision of worldview, philosophy, doctrine, faith, practice, etc. Decisions in the first tier should only be subject to the bible, God’s divinely inspired scriptures. Anyone or anything claiming equal authority to their words, although often meaning well, should not be the final landing pad for our hope and goals, and should be evaluated for what they are; the words of a usually well-meaning person, no matter what they claim about operating in the prophetic. We simply cannot know that those words are inspired by God as strongly as the redeemed heart can know that the scriptures indeed are. A longer statement could be made here about what the actual gift of prophecy is and how it operates in the modern day church, but I’ll leave that discussion for another time.

Decisions of the third tier encompass very minute, daily decisions like which dog you buy, or what you eat for breakfast, or what shoes you wear. Decisions of the second tier, like those decision listed above about dating, or where to live, or what to do in a quirky or odd situation (“major-ish” or “life” decisions) should be subject to prayer and meditation on the scriptures, coupled with a humble, realistic evaluation of one’s gifts, talents, and circumstances. This should be done in subjection to the broader, “big ideas” of scripture, rather than using scripture as a how-to guide to finding a husband, for example. Your particular situation, you particular personality and gifts, and the wisdom of others, coupled with a love and desire for God and obeying Him and His word, will both lead you into and steer you away from things as you progress in life and holiness in the Lord. Furthermore, to some extent, yes, you will simply “feel,” (after all that prayer and meditation and careful examination and seeking after wisdom) that one course of action is the right one. I believe that this is the means by which God leads you down the path He has chosen for you from before time without infringing upon the important capacity you and I have to make choices. I apologize for any confusion that my article caused, however I stand by the hope-filling and life-giving truth that only God’s word, the bible, is divine communication from Him and that nothing and no one and can step alongside or above it.

Now,

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We’ve Got a Self-Esteem Problem

Self-Esteem is something that we should have in spades these days. From the massive movement among female actresses and personalities to instill in young women the notion that they are “perfect just the way they are,” to the prevalence (despite some backlash) to participation trophies, we should be more self-assured now than we’ve ever been. But, for some reason, we’re not.

Every fad diet and new fangled, law-suit-in-waiting piece of workout equipment promises to make us have sexier abs, or glutes, or buns, or whatever part of the body best fits that adjective. Every testosterone pill or performance enhancing drug is marketed to men to help them have better sex and be more energetic. Most importantly, these advertisements very subtly aim at making more obviously energetic and “manly.” We’re seeing suicide rates continue to increase across the first world, and depression medication is used as much as it has ever been used, if not more. In college culture, our memes and snapchat stories seem to be obsessed with bemoaning and lampooning our laziness and inability to cope with the difficulty of classes and adulting. Our language about almost everything about ourselves seems to be most comfortable when it’s self-deprecating. Now, of course, no one wants everyone to walk around talking about how great they are and how well life is going because they’re so well put-together. But this betrays exactly what’s wrong with our self-esteem. Please read on if you’re interested in the two major problems we have in the way we talk about self-esteem, and how we can right the ship. Trust me, it’s life or death

1. What We Use to Create Self-Esteem is Destroying It

The reason that we still tend towards self-deprecation, depression, and low self-esteem despite repeated admonition that we are indeed able to do “whatever we put our minds to,” is that we are repeatedly admonished that we are indeed able to do “whatever we put our minds to.” In other words,we’re being told high, grandiose things about ourselves that are not true. Not only are they not true, they’re not even helpful. The human mind and soul are indeed the crowning glory of God’s creation. Things like the reality of mind-over-matter medicine and the placebo effect, the determination of mind needed to fight terminal illnesses, and the power of human depression to actually kill people in loss and grief with a “broken heart” do show us that our hearts are incredible in their power and weight. But those are all internal realities. They have nothing to do with what happens to us, what resources we have available to us, and what chances do or do not come our way. Repeatedly preaching to one another that we can “do whatever we set our minds to,” or that we can “have whatever we work hard for” is simply not helpful because we can’t.

Imagine human joy and happiness as a fire. If fires need fuel, let’s imagine the cornerstone American mantras of individualism and self-determination already mentioned are plastic trash and rubbish. I love camping and don’t get to do it nearly enough, but my favorite part is the campfire, and building them in my backyard is a summer tradition. Often times we burn a lot of our paper products instead of throwing them away to help reduce waste. Every now and then a piece of packing plastic will sneak by us and get burned. It’ll burn quickly, with a lot of yellow flames and bright light. But the fire soon died away. Not only that, but it emitted thick black smoke which, when inhaled in gross amounts, is highly toxic. This is what those well-meant words are to the fire of our hearts; quick-burning, fume-emitting, trash. But not only are those proverbs not true, they’re actually not helping.

If all one ever poured into the fire was that aforementioned plastic, you would indeed get some fire, but it wouldn’t be sustainable, and it would be highly dangerous if you managed to amass enough plastic trash to throw into it constantly. But there’s another dilemma. The point of having a fire is not so that you can feed it over and over again and tend it. You want to sit back, relax, and enjoy it. Yes, you have to feed it and it takes some attention and effort, but the effort required in putting a few good, dry, split logs of pine is much less than scrounging around for plastic which will burn up as fast as you can shovel it in. It’s the same way with the human soul. But that Brings me to point number two; that high self-esteem is the reason for low self-esteem.

2. Self-Esteem is The Problem

I owe it to Jon Bloom at Desiring God for showing me this wonderful paradox, but it’s resolution is a simply one. A high self-esteem leads to a low self-esteem because when we view ourselves very highly, we are only setting ourselves up for disappointment. Holding this truth close to you can be done for the wrong reasons, trust me. Often we can affirm this out of a sense of jealousy at people’s success and apparently “getting all the brakes.” We may want an excuse for having small goals and bitter views of the world and others. But the reality is, still yet, that no matter who we are, we are not content with what we’ve achieved because we always want more. Even Tom Brady, perhaps one of the best, most tactically gifted and quick minded quarterbacks in the history of the NFL, once answered the question about how he felt about winning so many super bowls in a strange way. He said, and I’m paraphrasing, “there has to be something more to life.”

It’s not hard to see our accomplishments as small, even if we’re Tom Brady, who has achieved way more than me, in material terms. Like, he has rings to prove it. But the truth is, we will not enjoy the warmth and the light of the fire of hope and purpose which lets us see those around us unless we use the right fuel. It’s not even what it’s meant to be, an enjoyable campfire, when we fuel it with trash and the plastic of post-modern “encouragement.” Those things are non-issues in regards to making a fire. They are, in reality, nothing. The fuel our souls need for our campfires is not focusing on ourselves at all. Of course we look to self-interest and our own joy, but the thing that is most conducive and constructive to our joy is living for the true joy and contentment of others. But, don’t let this equally popular mantra fool you. Every idea you hear is based on a foundation, just like every building you see.

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The joy and the peace that our hearts are crying out for is Christ, at the ultimate, individual level. Putting our sin on His sacrifice, trusting His direction for our lives as we sacrifice to glorify Him by letting go of sin and the value we put on worldly and worthless things, and put up our opinions and comforts for the good of others are the fuel our fires are meant to run on. But there is a foundation here that is coming to the foreground that cannot be ignored. It is not sufficient to simply say that we are made to serve other humans. The absolute and obvious assumption of all the biblical exhortations to forget ourselves, when it tells us to “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3) is that it is in our best interest, to look to the best interest of others. The best interest, however, of both of us, is the mutual enjoyment of introducing, or refreshing, someone’s seeing Jesus and His truth through His Word. Our chief good and joy will be glorifying God, holding Him up for the world to see, and turning the telescope to Him to show how big He really is in the lives of people dangerously oblivious to Him in the midst of their sin. This is what God had in mind in Hebrews, when He tells us “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25). We rejoice in glorifying God, and it truly is the reason we exist, but we multiply that and bring that pursuit of God’s glory in His joy to it’s beautiful completion in the encouraging community that is the church, in showing the unbelieving that beautiful glory, and in not focusing on ourselves. This New Year, I hope we all see, whether anew or afresh, that our self-esteem is really a secondary issue in building the tall, warm, bright fire that only chasing after God can. Ditch yourself and find Jesus, it may not be the most self-affirming and self-inflating way of life, but it is the only way to true life.