I suffer from anxiety and depression, and while my anxiety may not be as bad as others, I still have issues with it from time to time.
On a daily basis, I would say that my anxiety level is at a constant seven. Now, that number may seem high to most people, but to me, that number means that I am functioning like a normal human being. When my anxiety is at a seven I am aware of everything that has to get done, yet at the same time, I still have the motivation to get said things done.
In a social context though, with my anxiety being this high I tend to not want to be around people because I feel I don't fit in, or that they don't really like me. In order to fix this though, I don't constantly isolate myself and ask for validation from my friends, instead, I force myself to confront these feelings and work through my emotions. Pro tip: if your friends are actively engaging with you then chances are, they still like you.
Every once in a while though, usually when I am sick or swamped with assignments, my anxiety level reaches a nine and I feel like I am going to drown. I feel like there are a thousand things that I need to get done, yet at the same time it feels like no matter how hard I work, I'm not any closer to achieving anything.
I always feel like people can visually see when my anxiety level is at nine because I am not as put together as I normally am. On any typical day, my hair is done, I have on makeup, and my personality seems to be more easygoing. When I'm at a nine though, my already crazy curly hair seems messier, my skin will look terrible because I start to constantly pick at it, and my entire personality seems to be manic and rash.
As odd as it may seem, when this happens I have to remind myself take a step back and not work on what needs to get done. Sometimes, I will pamper myself with a face mask and a bath bomb and remind myself to just take deep breaths and let whatever happens, happen. Other times, I will listen to the entire Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack and remember that I'm not the only person feeling this way. If all else fails then I will go to sleep and then call my therapist in the morning. It's so important to know that everyone deals with anxiety at some point in their life, you are not alone in any way. Don't be afraid to talk someone whether it be a therapist, friend or even a random stranger. You never know what could happen during one conversation.
