When I hear the word “culture," I think of “the attitudes and behavior characteristic of a particular social group” (dictionary definition). Rape is not a social activity, nor is anything that should be part of a social group.
There isn't a group of people who share a common interest, who sit around at a table together at a meeting, and discuss rape.
Rape isn't a term you should just throw around and use lightly. Often times, I hear people joke about rape. They think that sexually assaulting someone is somehow humorous.
Imagine being touched in places you don't want to be touched. Imagine wanting to be left alone, but you're too vulnerable to fight for yourself. Whether the victim of rape is conscious, unconscious, drunk, high or sober, someone who is being raped is never able to get the person to stop.
I'm annoyed with people assuming that every time someone is raped it's because one or more persons in the event wasn't sober. I'm angry that some people assume it's the victim’s fault. I'm irritated that when someone admits to being raped, the person they tell it to will assume it's in hopes for that person to get money or attention.
Why is rape talked about so casually? Why is it often ignored?
Rape culture. Almost as if you've either been a victim or been a rapist, that you're now part of a society. You're in a club, a social group, a culture. I despise that term. I detest that those words are put together.
We need to stop conjecturing that if someone is raped, it must have been at a party. Rape can happen between two sober people, in broad daylight, in the woods. Rape doesn't always have to be at a college party, it doesn't always happen when one or more persons is drunk or high.
You have no idea how hard it is to see the face of someone who bothered you in ways you didn't want to be bothered all over the media. The person who harmed you, who touched you sexually when you asked them not to, who felt you up when you were unable to defend yourself, who beat you when you tried to fight back, the person who left permanent marks on your body externally and internally -- someone who may have gotten away with it.
A rapist doesn't always get caught and end up in prison. Sometimes they continue to walk the same grounds as you. Or sometimes the judge will grant them six months in county jail because prison would be too harsh of a punishment. Sometimes “your rapist” may even have mutual friends as you. Even if they were caught and sent to prison, their mugshot would be all over the television, social media, the newspapers, etc. Their face everywhere to be seen.
And this person who you cannot stand to be near; whose name makes you cringe; whose face gives you anxiety; whose body that touched you months prior now makes you feel filthy and violated, even when you've already showered twice in the same day, and haven't left the house in weeks. This human being is in the same culture as you -- like you're friends. Like you have things in common; common interests, common experiences.
I loathe the term “rape culture” because it subconsciously leads me to think that those involved in a rape crime need to get together and hang out, like friends or acquaintances do.
Rape isn't a culture. It's a part of our screwed up culture. Stop calling it rape culture, and just refer to it as rape.
