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I Hate My Own Writing

I am the biggest judge out of every reader of my own work.

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I Hate My Own Writing
Pexels

If you know me well, you know that I love to write my life away. No matter what is on my mind, there is something for me to say in writing. Depending on how much the idea means to me, I can create some pretty long content in maybe a little under an hour. Not to boast or anything, but I also think I usually get some pretty decent feedback.

No matter how well received my writing is, there is always this one person that never has anything to positive to say about it. He literally craps on every piece of content and rips it into smithereens. He is so annoying and he never seems to go away. When will he ever accept my writing as good?

That person is myself.

If there's one thing I've learned about writing over the last couple of years, it's that I am the biggest judge out of every reader of my own work. No matter how confident I feel, no matter how much time and effort I put in, and no matter how many people give me praise, it will take a long time for me to become satisfied with the final product (if I am ever satisfied at all anyway).

As much as I love writing, it is often a difficult process. Whether the writing is for an essay, the school newspaper, or just to let some thoughts out, it is tough to put something on paper and say, "Okay, I really like this." It's actually quite frustrating, considering how many times I will erase a phrase and rewrite it until I cannot say it in any other good way possible.

Hours later, when I finally think I'm done writing the piece, I will read through it only a gazillion times. Of course, that's a bad thing because I will find something I'm not happy with - and then here I go again, erasing and rephrasing until I convince myself that this is not getting any better. On the other hand, if I find typos, I will be thankful that I actually took the time to double check my work because otherwise I would have submitted something with an embarrassing error. Please don't think I've never done this though - I have plenty of times, in fact. I'm definitely not proud of it.

The absolute worst part about writing (to me anyway) is reading my work after it has been published, or even reading the comments my teacher made on my now graded essay. I actually tend to cringe when I read through my final drafts. To be completely honest, I don't even bother to read them any further after I've edited and turned them in. What if I STILL find errors that I somehow never caught when I was proofreading before turning it in? What would I say about this piece if I were the audience? Was I really proud enough of what I wrote to submit what I call garbage?

I know, I sure make it seem like I hate writing even though I've already said multiple times that I love doing it. But that's the thing - writers are not supposed to be perfect. Stephen King's first novel, "Carrie", was rejected 30 times. JK Rowling's first installment in her infamous "Harry Potter" series was rejected 12 times, and one of her more recent novels titled "The Cuckoo's Calling" was rejected numerous times as well. That's an inspiring way to look at things. No matter how frustrated I am, someone will be happy with my diligent efforts. No matter how much I hate what I made, someone will likely disagree. I am making someone happy without even knowing it.

Woah.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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