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I Hate Horror Movies

Why Halloween season haunts me every year (ha ha, get it?)

Madelyn Casale

Oct 29, 2017

Fordham University

166

https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2017/10/28/636448249178754910-1969358088_ghosts-gespenter-spooky-horror-40748.jpeg

I have a question for you, and forgive me if it's out of line... BUT WHY THE HECK DO PEOPLE ENJOY HORROR MOVIES?! Isn't fear a negative emotion? Isn't it a sign of instability to take pleasure in having the bejesus scared out of you?

I'm throwing a lot of questions at you; Sorry about that! I might just be trying to justify my own terrible cowardice. Yeah, I'm a complete "scaredy cat," but I'm not ashamed to admit it. I just can't understand horror movies or their appeal.

LET ME TAKE YOU ON A JOURNEY!

When I was a youth, I walked in on my parents watching Edward Scissorhands. I watched it with them and was deeply disturbed by peoples' faces being cut up and all that by good ol' Eddy. That started a trend of fear, really. I couldn't go in haunted houses unless there was a LOT of candy to justify it (and if I was safely concealed within the middle of my group). I cried while watching the remake of Carrie three years ago, even after I'd thoroughly researched the entire plot so I'd be prepared for everything that came my way. I peed my pants a little at the "Walking Dead" zombie walk-through ride at Universal last summer. It happens.

I love playing pranks on people, but I truly detest being scared. My brother loves all things horror (what a psycho), and I don't know HOW. I'm the type of person who still has to look away when I'm getting a shot at the doctor's office. I hate jump scares, I hate psychological thrillers and creepiness, and I hate gore.

Wow, don't I sound like a joy to be around?

The only horror movie I got through and didn't mind at all was The Ring. I was watching it a few years ago with a group of friends. One of them passed gas on me and I was so disgusted that I couldn't focus on being afraid. Is this the key to enjoying horror movies? If it is, I don't think it's worth it. I truly don't understand the appeal of horror movies or anything scary, and I don't think I ever will.

Soooo I guess if there's anything to be gleaned from whatever this is, it's that if you need me this or any Halloween season, I will be hiding in my dorm room, stuffing my face with pounds of chocolate.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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I Hate Horror Movies

Why Halloween season haunts me every year (ha ha, get it?)

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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