Not quite sure if I’m in the majority or the minority when I say I hate flying, but there’s something about being 30,000 feet in the air that scares the hell out of me. Never do I have more anxiety than when we are about to take off, and music or movies cannot cure it. So, here is a list of reasons why flying is not my thing.

1. Airport security

What’s that? The body scan wasn’t enough? Oh, you want to pat me down. That’s nice; I’d prefer it if you didn’t.

2. Delays

Great. Just great. That means I didn’t have to panic for another hour. Man, you guys are something else.

3. Checking luggage

Will my bag be allowed as a carry on? The last two times I went to the airport, I was told by security my luggage would fit in the overhead. This was not the case; I looked like a fool trying to squeeze my luggage in that obviously wasn’t going to fit while holding up the line of angry commuters. So I had to check my luggage ($25 later).

4. Your annoying neighbor

Sitting next to a stranger is fine, but when they won’t stop talking to you about their life story or telling you about a book they’re reading it gets kind of strange. Let me be anxious about the flight in peace! Thank you.

5. The bathrooms

Wow, new level of being cramped. How am I supposed to go to the bathroom with all this turbulence? This just sucks.

6. Ears popping

What did you say? I can’t hear you. My ears feel like someone just shoved a bunch of q-tips in them. They say chewing gum helps, but I’m not convinced.

7. The crying baby

It’s worse than a baby crying in a movie theater. I’m just trying to enjoy the crappy crackers the flight attendants give out and possibly get some rest. You’re not helping!

8. No phone service

You’re telling me I can’t Snapchat during the flight? That’s a crime against humanity. Apparently you guys have wifi, but it never seems to work. Thanks for nothing.

9. Turbulence

Uh, oh. The seatbelt light just went on. What does that mean? Are we going down? I think so. That’s the only plausible explanation for this. What do I do? Why does no one else look panicked? Is this all in my head? Can’t be.

10. The Movies

If you think you’re getting lucky when you find out your plane provides movies, think again. Unless you want to watch "Alvin and the Chipmunks" or "Twilight," you’re in for a long flight. Although there was this one time when "Star Wars" was on it, which was pretty nice.

So who’s with me? I’m sure more could be added to this list. People say you’re more likely to get into a car crash than a plane crash, but that does not do it for me. How do you expect me to survive a plane crash? Do you have a parachute? If so, could I have it? Thanks.