We've all heard it said a million times that college is the "best time of your life." It's in the movies and the songs and the ideas we were given back in middle school that someday we'd get to this big beautiful vacation called college and everything would be way better there. But the fact of the matter is that for some people, that turned out to be just an idea. I hate college. I hate it, I can't wait to get out, I am ready to graduate ASAP, and that is OK.
The thing is that when I say this, I'm afraid that people misunderstand, and that's because they do. Saying that I "hate" college is a broad statement, and I get that. Hating college itself does not mean that I have hated every aspect of it. I would never take back all of the things that I have learned— especially learned to appreciate. I could never regret all the nice people I have met that have now been a part of my life for the past 3 years. I have a deep love, actually, for several of the courses I have taken, and all of the art I've been able to experience within them.
But that still doesn't mean I don't want to scream that I hate it as an overall concept. I hate doing things that I don't care about just because it is required of me for no reason (I'm sorry, how many times will I be forced throughout school to take classes on science that have NOTHING to do with my major or course of study). I hate being THOUSANDS of dollars in debt before I've even had a chance to start my life. I hate feeling like my life is quickly being sucked away and I am spending it all stressing out every single night about what's due the next day or when my next meeting is or if I'm missing something. I hate always feeling like I'm missing something...
I find myself perpetually disappointed by this whole idea of college because what was supposed to be the time of my life, in reality, feels like a barrier in front of life. I've been forced to face it: life is more than school. Life is my little sister's birthday party, and taking my dog to the vet, and cleaning out the closet, and catching lunch with my best friend who's in town for the day. It's going to work every single night that I can and saving dollar bills in envelopes in order to pay for things like doctor's bills and gas. Life is counting the days and planning a wedding, and, beyond what we could ever plan for, sometimes life is death. How am I supposed to feel like these papers that my professors will forget about mean a thing on the same nights that I am writing eulogies and wedding vows?
The fact of the matter is, I am a little resentful. I'm not afraid to say it. I am tired beyond tired of school after spending my whole life in this system, just to feel like I will get a certificate that may or may not mean a single thing for my security in the future. That's the issue we face today with going to college, at the end of it all: will this mean a thing? And if not, what have I done with all this time? That's why I hate college. I hate being afraid of wasting all this time. Admitting that doesn't really make it sound like I have much faith in whether or not it will all be OK, but I think that being able to address that factor in itself gives me a little hope that maybe, no matter what, it might be.
