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Self-harm and Recovery

You're stronger than your addiction

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Self-harm and Recovery
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I saw this on Pinterest once and it is one of the most amazing things I have read when it came to self-harm:

Person 1: How are you going to explain your scars to your future children? What about the man you marry?

Person 2: The man I marry will love and accept me for how I am. He'll know about how I went through a hard time in my life but I made it. My kids will know that their mommy was hurting and that they will always have me to love and support them. They will know that I'm there for them and that I'll never give up. You see ugly scars, I see beauty. You see a huge mistake, I see a lesson learned. You see shame, I see strength. I love my scars for that reason.


I have written about my journey out of depression with God, but I've never addressed my journey in my depression which for me...is just as important because it helped shape me. In the midst of my dark depression, I found a coping mechanism for the pain I was feeling. Can you guess what it is? You got it, self-harm and for me specifically, it was cutting.This is my story and it took me a long time to get where I am now. By that I mean, being able to talk about my self-harm without feeling awkward or uncomfortable. I am not ashamed, not anymore at least. Why would I be? It's all apart of a bigger plan that God has for me. Everything mistake I made, every choice, everything, it's all leading to His bigger plan.


When I started recovering from self-harm, this was a huge...I don't know..shock? I never thought of it like this, not until I started letting Him in. He struggled on earth, too. Maybe differently than I have, but He still gets the pain that can come living in this temporary world and it brought me so much comfort knowing I've got him to fall back on. My provider and healer.

What brought me to it? There are a lot of factors that got me thinking about it. I saw it on social media and some of my friends had struggled with it, but I don't blame anyone for starting. It was completely my choice and because of its addictive nature...it stuck. Self-destructive behavior releases endorphins and can cause a sense of euphoria in a person just as drugs and sex can do the same thing.

What do I tell loved ones? Mostly they have asked or haven't noticed though as this point in my life, I wouldn't lie about it. I wouldn't lie about it to anyone actually. Like I said, I'm not ashamed of this and I realize that people won't always understand why I did it and honestly, at this point, it's not really anyone else's business but my own. When I say I am not ashamed, I mean I would willingly admit to it, but I don't mean that I would so easily give up my life story to just anyone. This is because I want to be able to trust you before I pour myself into another person.

What advice do I have? It's simple; get help, but know the way you heal might be different than another person had healed. Sometimes it isn't as easy as going to a counselor and boom you're fixed. Sometimes It isn't as conventional as that. For me, it was a sobriety counter and putting all of myself into God because only He could heal the deep wounds that I had. Counseling just wasn't my thing and that's okay. Some things are easier to talk with people you trust beyond words even if they cannot give you great advice in return, at least they are willing to listen. Talking it out makes me so much more rational in how I deal with things.

Who do I recommend talking to? I recommend to try a counselor, or two, or three. Sometimes the first one just doesn't connect with you, but you have to be willing to try and put effort into it. That means going to the same counselor more than once to better assess if they can reach you. One time just isn't enough and it's not fair to them because you haven't really given them a chance to help you. I suggest entrusting someone with your story, but don't be hurt if they tell someone in order to get you more help. They want to help you recover and that's not a bad thing. You can also join a support group with like individuals trying to recover from their addiction.

There are also many resources that can help you get through this Including To Write Love on Her Arms, the Semicolon project, the Butterfly project, and so many more. Also, you can find phone numbers here: http://www.seventeen.com/health/advice/a4533/cutting-resources/

You're worth it and recovery is always possible. You are stronger than your addiction.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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