Assuming the role of oldest sibling in a family definitely has its undeniable perks. The seniority card never expires when it comes down to who gets to sit in the front seat, an older sibling’s hand-me-down’s are not readily available to transition from their closet to yours and when you start a new school year you don’t have the automatic association as so-and-so’s little sibling.
However, being an oldest child is a legitimate lifestyle. It requires paving the way, a tactic your little siblings will never truly grasp. As the oldest sibling, assumptions are made on your behalf regarding what your responsibilities are, and oftentimes, we don’t have much of a say in things that are decided for us.
1. We are the guinea pigs.
If there’s one thing that an oldest sibling knows for sure, it’s that our parents have no idea what they’re doing.
To any of the oldest children that haven’t gone through the college application process yet, my heart goes out to you. But regardless of your progress in applying for colleges or how far you are in SAT prep, all oldest children out there understand that our primary role in our mom and dad’s adventure in parenthood is to guide the way.
Someone has to be the first to throw our parents for a loop. And, unluckily enough, it’s us oldest children that have to step up to the plate. By the time our younger siblings roll around, our parents have already seen it all. They know how to handle first dates, first days of school and college applications. But, as our younger siblings may forget, they know how to handle all these first’s because it’s not really their first. It’s their second, third and fourth because we had to be there as their test run.
2. Our parents care too much.
Before so much as running an errand, younger offspring will never understand the pain of interrogation involving every aspect of our upcoming whereabouts. Where are you going? Who will you be with? When will you be home? Clarifying right down to the exact minute I’ll be walking back into the house, parents still try to prove their ability to handle parenthood by constantly providing excess questions and unnecessary amounts of care. Younger siblings will never understand what a gift has been granted to them when they can walk out the door without being questioned about every aspect of their upcoming plans.
3. We are always expected to be the “bigger person” in sibling rivalries.
Apparently, being born years after us provides an unlimited free pass in any inter-familial disagreement. Regardless of how justified an older sibling is in being angry or frustrated with a younger sibling, those feelings are automatically negated because of the age gap. Parents feel no need to ask the details of sibling arguments because, so it goes, we are the “bigger person” and should not allow such disagreements to break out in the first place.
4. Younger siblings are automatically cooler than you ever were.
When my little siblings came home from the hospital for the first time, I immediately felt like new toys were coming in and I, the old toy, was going to be left at the bottom of the toy bin. As I got older and realized that this wasn’t necessarily true, I did come to realize the serious social advantages that are had by younger siblings.
As a 12-year-old, I was a brace-face, socially awkward, uncultured and an unknowing embarrassment. I didn’t know the latest music, I couldn’t relate to funny things people referenced from PG-13 movies and I definitely still liked juvenile things that were “so elementary school.” My younger siblings, on the other hand, are lucky enough to have someone older and still within their generation to look up to. Because of me, they know all the latest music, get to slip in and watch movies I couldn’t get away with at their age and have someone to copy when it comes to being a cool person. At their age, I was loser, but thanks to them having an older sibling, they’re cooler than I was at the age of 18.
5. You are the assumed (and often unpaid) babysitter.
Similar to how oldest children get to override a younger sibling on getting the front seat in the car, parents can also override the oldest sibling’s Friday night plans with their own. Regardless of how far in advance a Friday night was booked, parents assume that being born first means simply birthing a babysitter before the rest of your children. That’s what the oldest is for, right? Not only are we the assumed babysitter, but we are the assumed babysitter free of charge!
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve loved being the oldest sibling. I was an only child for my first eight years of life, but I think that lifestyle would have gotten a little lonely for my liking. I get to be a role model for people that I care about and hopefully can be the cool older sibling that they go to in times of need.
But, with that said, being the oldest has its definite ups and downs. So to all the little siblings out there that didn’t need to carve the way, here is a quick “thank you” to all the firstborns who will get you a long way in life.
