Our culture enjoys fitting people into categories—old, young, college student, post grad, male, female, Northerner, Southerner, Christian, non Christian, Democrat, Republican. When we get asked which category we fall under, more often than not we will have a direct answer because it’s easy for us to put ourselves in a certain category in order to identify with one another. However, every once and a while we come across a category where we truly cannot decide which side we fall under. Yes, it sounds dramatic, but it creates for a torn identity, a split mind. This is how I feel, for example, when I’m asked if I am an extrovert or an introvert. I automatically want to say extrovert because of how much I love being around people, but then I think about all times I thrive on being alone. I go to say introvert, but then I think I can’t possibly be an introvert. I love having a good time with my friends.

Whereas I used to get annoyed thinking about which category I fall under, I recently discovered an end to my agony, an answer to torn thinking. And that is the term “ambivert”—a person who equally possesses qualities of an extrovert and an introvert. No more of coming up with answers like “extroverted introvert” or vice versa. No, there is a name, a category, for people like me.

Despite feeling at peace for finally finding a “category” to fit into, I have to say being an ambivert is not easy. I like to think of myself and anyone else who falls into this category with me, as our own kind of people. But equally being an extrovert and introvert is hard. I will go ahead shed some light on the hardships of the ambivert.

1. Deciding whether to stay in or not is a struggle.

When you equally love time alone, but love being with people it’s just so hard to commit to plans for the night.

2. Going through with the decision is harder than making the actual decision to stay in or go out.

Ok, so ambiverts finally decide they want to go out for the night. But when the time comes for them to head towards the hangout, their introvertness suddenly kicks in and they don’t feel like going anymore. Then the decision process has to start all over again.

3. Your friends are confused because sometimes you are totally down to hang but other times they can't get you out of your room.

Honestly, it’s annoying for them and for you because they don’t understand your mood swings and they don’t understand why you just don’t feel like hanging out.

4. Once you decide to stay in for the night, it’s almost impossible for someone to change your mind.

Once an ambivert decides they don’t feel like going out that night, it’s very hard to get them off the couch and out of their comfy blankets. That also goes for if they do decide to go out that night. They are ready to party and if the plans get changed to just chilling, they will become very antsy to do something.

5. Sometimes you are the chattiest one in the group, while other times you literally have nothing to say and just observe.

People may expect you to contribute a lot to the conversation because they view you as a social person, but since you’re an ambivert, there’s no telling whether you will be in the mood to talk or not.

6. A lot of times when you’re with people, you want to be alone and when you’re alone, you want to be with people.

This is probably the biggest hardship of the ambivert because it’s rare to feel at peace. You’re always torn as to what you really feel like doing.

So although there has been an answer to the struggle between choosing introvert or extrovert, being an ambivert still has its hardships. But at least you have the satisfaction of knowing which category you fall under. Hopefully you can explain yourself to your friends a little more easily now.