This story was based on a colleague's experience of loss, fear, and abandonment in a family. For many years, she struggled to find a purpose of her being and longed to seek love and acceptance. Her story inspired me to bring the public’s attention further to the issue of domestic violence/abuse. Out of respect, the individual’s real name will not be revealed and will be given the pseudonym, “Jordan”.

Jordan stepped into the alley with her bare feet and treaded softly down the narrow path. She warily paced forward from the balls of her feet and kept her bundle of her most precious belongings rested on her shoulder. The scene was a dim and greyish color and the rotten, malodorous space between the walls made her eyes water. As Jordan continued her path down the dim and dark alley, she couldn’t see where she was going and nearly tripped a couple of times on piles of trash and overly filled garbage bags. She was in the penurious side of town; with nobody caring about where they throw away their trash.

She then tripped and fell flat on a pile of unused junk, shrieking in pain since she accidentally bit her tongue. Jordan lied face down and slowly turned and sat up, staring at the object that had tripped her. There was a cardboard box lying in the middle of the alleyway. It had some black markings and random lettering and was red-stained. Curious, she pushed herself on her knees and lifted the box, exposing the piles of old, stacked up newspapers. From a sudden moment, Jordan noticed the stack of papers was starting to twitch and move around a bit. There was a bulge coming from underneath, and Jordan quickly removed the stack of newspapers, finding a small and skinny black cat lying on its stomach.

“Mew,” its yellow eyes were wide as its ears had flattened. There were wet and darker stains all over its frizzy fur and patches of fur were missing from its back. And the most astonishingly horrific feature of all; its hind leg was missing. Jordan kept her bindle close to her chest and scooted away as she continued to stare at the cat. Its paws trembled while trying to stand up, and ended up falling on its side when doing so and let out a soft whine. Jordan couldn’t help but have sympathy for the poor guy. She had to put down her belongings and crawled over next to the injured creature. She reached her hand out and felt her fingertips brushed against the shaggy rough fur. The cat hissed and attempted to push itself away from her gesture, but ended up tripping and falling on its side again.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jordan said gently as she approached the cat again. “Where did you come from?” She then noticed the black collar it had on, with a name written on a tag. Jordan reached out and gently lifted the tag so that she could read it.

Ninten

Again, the cat nearly jumped and hissed at the young girl. Jordan pulled her hand back and shoved it back into her denim pocket, searching for something. Ninten managed to push himself onto his three paws, his pupils dilated and his ears were flattened half back. His tail was angled as he stood firmly, glaring at the little girl. Remaining calm, Jordan pulled out a block of wrapped cheddar and a pack of salted crackers. It was the only food she had, but she was more than willing to share, especially to a small and fragile feline. She un-wrapped the cheddar tore off a piece and dropped the piece in front of the cat. Ninten stopped hissing and lowered his head, giving it a sniff. His tail was higher above his head and the end of it was curled back. His yellow eyes grew wide with curiosity as he sampled the sharp and tangy substance. Jaws were snapping and his long tongue licked around the surface of his white muzzle.

“You like it?” Jordan prompted, popping a cracker into her mouth. The cat mewed contently as he lifted his head and stared up at the girl with wider eyes, begging for more. Jordan tore off another piece and added a cracker. She dropped the pieces on the ground in front of Ninten, who quickly swiped up the contents with his tongue. Jordan continued eating and sharing some of her crackers, while Ninten mostly wanted the sharp cheddar. She avoided giving him too much cheddar, not knowing if any of this is good for a cat’s diet.

She decided that she was done eating as she wrapped up the remains of the cheese and crackers and stuffed them into her pocket. Jordan stood, picked up her bindle and turned to walk away. She looked back at Ninten and waved at him goodbye. The cat, however, let out a yowl and limply padded across the alley to follow her. Even for an injured cat, he was pretty quick. Jordan kept walking, hoping that the black-furred feline would stop following her eventually. She didn’t look back until she felt a slight tug on the ankle part of her jeans. She turned and looked down at Ninten, who was pawing at her leg and whining softly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t give you anymore…” she said softly. “Please, I need the rest of it for later.” The cat mewed and continued to stare. She sighed and bent down to her knees, staring into Ninten’s eyes. He no longer seemed hostile, for his watery yellowish eyes blinked a couple of times as he held a blank expression at the little girl. Jordan reluctantly held out her hand and reached towards his head. Ninten was standing perfectly still, whether or not he noticed the girl’s attempted gesture. Jordan placed her tiny hand on Ninten’s rough fur and began to run her short fingers down to the back of his furry neck. She stroked him gently a couple of times and reached towards the back of his ear. Ninten’s ears flicked as he ducked his head low and braced his shoulders, his body becoming tense.

“Are you alone too? Did you run away from your family?”

The black cat let out a small yowl as his ears were flat. His balance was unsteady as he was leaning more towards his right due to his left hind leg being missing. Jordan pulled out one of the crackers and broke it in half, feeding one half to Ninten. She put the other half in her mouth and decided to do something risky. She pulled out another cracker and sat down on the ground with her legs crisscrossed. Jordan held the cracker in her hand and let the cat come to her.

Ninten mewed as he limped over to her and set a forepaw on her knee, licking the salty cracker that was in her hand. His hind leg was wobbly, and Jordan had to support him by keeping one hand on his back. Ninten climbed onto Jordan as she put the cracker in his mouth. He squatted down and sat on her lap with his forepaws splayed out, licking and nibbling on the cracker. Jordan continued to stroke the cat’s head as he made himself more comfortable on his new bed. The sun was about to rise, and Jordan could see an orange-red tint consuming parts of the sky from the canopy. She looked down at Ninten, who was now in a very warm slumber.

After a while, Jordan was fast asleep. She then found herself in another world.

An urban-like environment… Or a garden…Sun and showers… Brightly sunny… Picking apart a hundred flowers… She could see her own hands tearing apart the petals and stems… She looked up from where she was sitting on the grass. The sun was gone… And it started to pour. She stood from the grass, her eyes fixed on the heavily clouded sky. More and more rain began to pour… A flash of lightning… Flashing scenes of familiar faces began to haunt her as she was being pelted hard by the rain… She felt nauseous, her body trembled uncontrollably. All she could remember was a hand, curled into a tight fist… A shattered beer bottle… And a bleeding wrist… She could feel pain… She wanted to run and hide. She wanted to scream… But no voice came out. She didn’t know what was going to happen to her… Had she done something wrong?

She flinched as she woke up abruptly. Finding herself sitting on the ground in an alley, Jordan could see that it was daytime. She found her bindle lying beside her. And to her surprise, Ninten was still asleep on her lap. For the first time she felt more relaxed, relieved to have a companion by her side. Even after a short time of acquainting herself, she automatically felt a sense of connection. Her thoughts of protecting the injured feline had pushed away her underlying feelings of fear and abandonment.

“You’ll find a new family someday.”