I am currently in the middle of my student teaching experience, a time I never thought I'd actually reach. This means that I am mere months away from graduating and getting a classroom of my own with new students that I will be responsible for teaching. During my student teaching experience, I have learned a lot. I always knew that being a teacher would not be easy but now that I'm with children every day things have changed. I love what I am doing, and I would not change anything. Being able to spend times with children of all ages and showing the beauty of music is so gratifying and makes everything worth it. However, there is one part that for me that is the hardest. One would think that the hardest part is writing lessons, keeping students focused, or balancing classroom management and having a fun learning environment. Yes, all of these are difficult but I am sure it will get easier the more experienced I become. There is one part that I'm not sure will every become easier. The part I find hardest is the students who come into the classroom that live in torn apart homes, have parents that don't care, and other poor living situations.

As a music teacher (Elementary specifically), we see every student in the school at least once a week. For the past short four weeks, I've been student teaching at the elementary I have had my heart broken after hearing the stories of some of the students. Four weeks isn't long enough for me to remember every student's name but there are the few that I think will stick with me for a long time. So many students I've learned about come from such sad backgrounds that it makes me want to cry every time I leave the school. I talked to one of the care teachers at the school and she told me how almost all of the students that come into her room are "drug babies". It used to be that many children suffered from Alcohol Fetal Syndrome but as time has changed drugs have taken over.

One day I had an incident with a student, whom I had no idea had anger issues, and required me to speak with the care teacher. This student was told to apologize to me for how rudely he acted but instead, he threw a fit and yelled that he didn't understand why. He eventually apologized to me, not kindly, but an apology was made. I then learned that he is a child that suffers from the effects of drugs and that he has extreme mood swings. I was told a story about how one day he blew up in the care classroom and started knocking things down but once that passed he replaced everything, looked at his teacher and through tears he asked: "Why am I like this?". My heart broke after hearing this story and it made me look at this student differently from then on.

During my time at the school, I have talked to many of the other classroom teachers at the school. They often talk about students they are having difficulties with and how sometimes they don't know what to do. One student that is often talked about is one that I have a soft spot for. I had no idea he was a disruptive child and that he spent most of his days in the office. I listen to the stories his teacher says and I find it hard to believe. I feel bad for the teacher because she has seemed to try everything with this student but they won't listen. He has his good and his bad days and the bad days are always very bad. I've learned that both of his parents are in jail because of drugs and he, like the previous student I talked about, is a drug baby. I, so badly, wish I could help this student and do something to encourage him. Every time I see him I wave and say hi to him and I always pick him to answer questions for class. There really isn't much more I can do for him but I wish there was. I will soon be leaving the elementary school to finish my second half of my student teacher and I know I will probably never see this student again and it breaks my heart. Just writing this makes me want to cry because I have grown to care about him very much.

For the last four years, I have been learning about how to become a teacher and I felt like I have prepared for what I was going into when I began my student teaching. I've read many case studies about students who come different backgrounds and I knew I would meet students that could have their own case study written about them. However, now that I've met them my whole outlook has changed. Actually meeting these poor students who weren't lucky enough to grow up like me or others that I know has truly changed how I plan to teach. I want to ensure I know every student that comes into my classroom and be able to encourage them even if I only see them for 30 minutes and they refuse to listen. As teachers, it is our job to help our students because once they walk out of the school there is nothing we can do for them. If we can be positive role models for them, maybe we can help them overcome obstacles even if it seems unlikely. This is why I know I want to be a teacher so I can help students and I want to make a difference.