I grew up in a predominantly Latino community in North San Diego County. I never felt endangered. I never experienced discrimination. The only danger I remember feeling was the devastating wildfires of 2008 that colored the skies orange and red for a week. I thought the world was going to end. However, generally I lived in a safeguard that I was unaware of as a child. Growing up, no one told me that we live in an unjust society.
I don't think my family prepared me for an unjust society. I don't think they prepared me well enough to face the world as scary as it is. You can say that I was raised in a sheltered environment; religion played a pivotal role in growing up. I remember the first time I heard a sexist comment from my professor, my blood boiled. I remember standing up for myself as my heart beat faster, as my words uncontrollably rolled out of my mouth. I remember I was in shock. The fact that I was not prepared for this unjust society compelled me to react impulsively. And I was proud of myself.
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My marketing professor offered extra credit for his students to attend a networking event. He said that the females would only receive the extra credit if they wore skirts, not slacks. I asked him why we couldn't wear slacks. He said, "because sometimes, women look like men from behind when they wear slacks". I then asked, "what's wrong with that?" He didn't answer my question. He went on about how he never hired a woman that wore slacks to an interview when he was in the auto business. He also said that the more feminine a woman looks, the more successful she will be.
What the hell does that even mean?! What about her strengths, capabilities or her experience?
I told him that his comments were sexist and he denied it. Yes, looks matter sometimes but looks shouldn't overshadow experience and capabilities. And why do looks only seem to apply to women? I discussed the issue with the dean of the college. She called him and put him on speaker- he didn’t know I was listening to the conversation. He said I was intentionally arguing with him for an unknown reason.
Before college, I always followed the rules. Always did what I was told. For the first time in an academic setting, a professor said I was arguing with him. Yes, I was. He wanted his female students to wear skirts because of HIS personal preference, not because wearing a skirt is more professional. Skirts (at an appropriate length of course)and slacks are both used in professional settings. The dean told him that the student (me) perceived his comments as sexist and if he didn’t change the extra credit, he could lose his job. Later that evening, he sent out an email to the class notifying that there was no longer extra credit for attending the networking event. He didn’t modify the extra credit to address my concerns, he simply replaced it with nothing.
This is not the only sexist thing I have encountered in my life, it was the first. Many experiences followed after that incident especially when I went abroad and even recently.
I don’t want to be like a man.
I know I am a woman. I simply want to live the way I like without being harassed. To be able to wash my own car without being told that I should have a man do it for me. To be able to run around my neighborhood without being catcalled. To be able to express that I feel uncomfortable in certain situation without being told that I have a bad personality.
That is all. That is all I ask for.
I've been more harassed because of my gender than my ethnicity. I believe it has to do with the fact that I grew up surrounded by Latinos. Growing up, I was treated the same way as everyone else. I wasn’t bullied. I wasn’t harassed. That only lasted for awhile.
I was unprepared for this unjust society. And that’s OK.
Harassment of any kind still exists. And that is not OK.
Let’s stand up for ourselves and for each other when we have the chance, even in front of authority figures. Let’s help each other free ourselves from injustices, because that’s what this country stands for.
