Russell,

Thanksgiving was... normal. The Lions game was on, people were shouting enthusiastically at the television, everyone was here. Except you, of course. I knew this Thanksgiving was going to be tough. It's the first major holiday without you. Things were a bit subdued, but we carried on. The day before we had talked about how it was best that we do everything as we normally would. We can't just stop. You wouldn't want that.

Things were simultaneously strange and typical. I knew it was because you were missing. To be honest, I tried not to think about it. Then someone accidentally called your brother by your name. I'm sure everyone caught it. But no one said anything - there was no reason to. But my heart stopped when I heard it.

It's still so hard acknowledging that you're gone, even though it's been almost a year. You were a mainstay at holidays and summer get-togethers. You were the person we called on when our electronics stopped working. You and I even shared a birthday.

I thought things were going to be awkward and stilted or maybe spent reminiscing and crying. But neither of those things happened. Instead, we ate, we talked, we laughed. But I could tell keeping up appearances was harder for some more than others.

I'm glad for my last memory of you, of us. It was Christmas day at your sister's. I was sitting on the couch reading and you came and sat on the floor and showed me videos of this acapella group, Home Free, singing "O' Holy Night." I had seen them on the show, The Sing-Off and was surprised you were a fan of them. They're a country group and although I agree they're good, country music isn't my favorite. But I do love "O' Holy Night," so I sat and watched the video of it with you. We kept watching videos. It was a nice and quiet moment between us, something we had never shared before. It is the best memory of you and me that I have and I'm so grateful for it.

So Happy Thanksgiving, Cousin Russell. For us, it was the usual loud and messy ordeal. We may not have talked about you out loud, but I know we were all thinking of you and what an impact you had on our lives.