On May 16, 1994, God decided to bring a truly amazing person into this world. On this day the sun began to shine a little brighter, the grass became a little greener, the world became a better place, and life had more meaning to it. When you were born, God had big plans for your life, and He knew the impact that you would make on all of those you came in contact with.
Life wasn’t given to you easy though, but God built you strong enough that you could endure any trials or hardships that came your way. As a young child you were diagnosed with a C-Surfactant lung disease –– a disease that your doctors didn't expect you to love past eighteen years old with. This disease ultimately lead to your first double lung transplant before your teenage years. You never let it get you down though. Hearing your parents, family members, grade school friends and pastor’s talk about how you used to pull your oxygen tank around with you everywhere you went, and how it never stopped you from doing anything you set your heart to, is just a small testimony of your strength and the fight you had inside of you.
As you got older nothing changed. If anything the determination and fight inside of you continued to grow stronger. You refused to let anyone see you as weak or think that you were incapable of doing something because of your condition. You took every challenge you were faced with head on and you conquered it with poise and grace. You never gave up the fight, and you always had such a joy for life, and for all of those who you were surrounded by.
In August of 2012, God had a plan for us, and He made our paths cross while we were going through sorority recruitment at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, where we ultimately ended up joining the same sorority and became sisters. As the days, weeks, and months went on we spent more and more time together creating memories and moments that I will never forget. You became my best friend, my partner in crime, my shoulder to cry on, and you extended your arms for me to run into when I needed a hug. You were the one who made me laugh so hard that I cried, the one who I could always count on day or night, and so much more. You showed me the true definition of what a best friend, and a sister, really is.
In the spring of 2014 things took a turn for the worse with your health that required you and your mom to relocate to St. Louis because you were in need of your second double lung transplant. You were so angry that you had to leave your friends and your life at college behind, and it broke my heart to see how much this hurt you. Not only did you have to leave behind college, the friends you loved, the family you loved, and more, but you also had to set aside your dream of becoming a nurse, which is something we both shared so much passion and love for.
Over the next several months your health slowly started to deteriorate. Your little body was so tired, but you never gave up the fight.
On August 12, 2014, I woke up to a text message from you saying that you had finally got the call that you were getting a new pair of lungs. Boy, what a day that was! I don’t think I’ve ever had so many emotions run through me all at one time. You were being given the gift of a life by someone you didn't even know because they had made one of the most selfless decisions a person can make by becoming an organ donor. On such a tragic day for one family with the passing of their loved one, your family, along with several other families, were able to celebrate life because of that one person’s generous decision to help save the lives of others when it was their time to be called home.
Your fight was far from over after being given the gift of life, though. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. Everything that is normally uncomplicated for your doctors to figure out was extremely complicated in your case… But who would expect anything else from you! No matter what curve ball was thrown at you though, you stepped up to the plate and refused to go down without swinging; you were determined to beat the odds that you were given.
However, over time, with every complication that arose and every setback that you faced, I could see how frustrated you were becoming and how it was starting to take a toll on your body. Although you would never admit it, the people closest to you could see the struggle you were going through on a daily basis and how it was becoming harder and harder for you to keep pushing forward and to keep fighting this battle that had been going on for so long. You were so tired physically, mentally and emotionally, but you always remained at such peace knowing that when it was your time to leave this world that you would be joining God up in Heaven. Your faith was never lost no matter how hard life got.
On February 4, 2016, God decided that you had fought long and hard enough, and that it was His time to call you home where you could be pain-free, healthy, and where you could finally breathe easily again. On the day God called you home I lost a piece of myself, and since that day I’ve been trying to figure out life without you here by my side, and it hasn’t been easy. I miss the loving friendship and sisterhood we shared, I miss knowing that I always had you by my side through good times and bad, and that we could count on each other for everything. I miss my person.
There has been so much that has happened since you joined God in Heaven that I wish I could share with you, and there have been so many times where all I want is to hear you say to me, “Just suck it up and stop whining!” and then watch you roll your eyes at me because you know that everything will be OK at the end of the day because God has a bigger and better plan for our lives. There have been multiple times where I’ve picked up my phone to send you a text, only to remember that I won’t be getting on back, but then I remind myself that you already know what’s going on and why I was going to text you in the first place because you’re sitting at God’s side watching over me and guiding me through this crazy journey we call life. I may never fully understand why such a beautiful soul was taken from this Earth at such a young age, but I find peace in knowing that you are with our Creator. On the days where I feel overcome with emotion and sadness, I find myself diving deep into the scripture of my Bible and I am reminded to, “…Not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10), and reading this I know that I have the strength to keep pushing forward because that is exactly what you would want me to do.
The first milestones after losing someone you love are always the hardest, and unfortunately, the month of May has brought many firsts… May 4th marked three months of you being gone, May 8th was the first Mother’s Day that your parents had to go through without their only child, and May 16th was your 22nd birthday. As May 16th fell upon us, I knew that it would be an emotional day for all of those who love you, however, I know you would be so angry at us if we were upset on your special day and not celebrating the beautiful life that you lived.
So on your birthday, I tried my absolute best to not let my emotions overcome me, and instead I had your favorite drink and gave a toast in your name to celebrate you because you sure lived one hell of a life and made an impact on everyone that had the privilege of knowing you. On your birthday, I chose to remember all of the moments, memories, secrets, laughs, tears, and so much more that we shared together. I chose to remember your heart of gold, your princess warrior attitude, and your love for people and life. I chose to celebrate the legacy you left behind because it is one that will continue to impact so many people for years to come.
Although you aren’t physically here with me anymore, you will always be in my heart, and I will always remember that, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years that you live.” You truly lived a beautiful and wonderful life where you were surrounded by peace, happiness, faith, love, and so much more. You made such a difference in this world, and made everyone around you a better person just by simply knowing you.
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I believe that there are angels among us on this Earth that we live in, and that they have a mission from God to impact our lives in ways we didn’t even know were possible. These angels are placed into our lives at the most perfect time, and I truly believe that you were one of them. You have changed my life for the better, and have made me a better person because of the women that you were. I am forever thankful for the years we shared together and feel incredibly blessed to know that I now have you as my guardian angel watching over me and guiding me through my journey of life. You were, and always will be, my best friend and my sister, and nothing will ever change that.
Happy 22nd birthday, sweet girl. I love and miss you more each and every day.
