I am in control of myself and the way I feel, so why is it so hard for me to be happy? Happiness is always something that I have struggled with due to personal problems or effects that people have evoked upon me. I let myself get worked up about absolutely nothing, they say don’t sweat the small things but I do.

It seems as if there are points where I am either extremely upset or extremely happy, and reaching a happy medium seems almost impossible. My life is great and I have so much to be grateful for but why am I always longing for something more… what is it that I am longing for.

Love, I have that. I have an amazing relationship that I am beyond thankful for, I couldn’t be happier with another person. Love is beautiful and love is something everyone should want to experience in their lifetime. Finding someone that looks past your imperfections and loves what they see is great, but when you find someone who looks at your imperfections and loves them because they make you so unique is what really matters. Someone who is there to squeeze all of the pieces back together… You can fight about stupid things then in the middle of an argument laugh at how stupid or how worked up your partner is.

I have a family that loves me and supports me no matter what. No matter what I may choose in life or no matter which goal I choose to pursue I know I can count on them to have my back and keep me believing in myself.

Wonderful friends that I can always count on to make me smile is a great perk, so many memories are vivid. Friends are a reflection of who you are, I have had many people come and go. Many people that I thought would still be in my life aren’t, and that’s okay.

My health has been a ride for sure, since I was small I have had problems but hasn’t everyone? In the past couple years, I have realized that my health is very important and I started to take control of that. Eating better and exercising for what my mom would say is way too much. I like to run now which is unreal because if I would’ve asked myself 4 years ago if I would run in the future or be a part of the cross country team I would’ve given you a laugh and a “Heck no!” It’s crazy how things change so fast. From a heart problem to an eating disorder to pneumonia I have had some tough times, but they made me who I am today.

I love who I am. I love the arch in my eyebrows, the way I carry myself, and the way other people perceive me but the question remains, “Why is it so hard for me to be happy?”

I do so much for other people because I am a people pleaser. I like to see people happy and I like for them to smile because smiles are one of the most beautiful features on any person. They are like a fingerprint because everyone’s is so different. Putting other people’s happiness before my own is something that I’ve always done and if I have the time to make myself happy it happens but most of the time I don’t. If we don’t take time to care for ourselves, we limit our ability to pour into the lives of others. I don’t know how to handle certain situations well and that is my downfall but that is something that I am trying to work on every day. I have often been told that I am too nice, but how is one too nice? Isn’t being nice a good thing.

The world has a lot of hate in it right now with events that are taking place. Shouldn’t that mean that people should have more compassion toward one another, I think they should.

Take the time to love yourself, do things that you like, and make yourself happy. Do the things that you love no matter how embarrassing they may be, not everyone likes to dance to Blurred Lines in front of their mirror but you do. Give yourself pep talks and write yourself notes that say “Have a good day!” like mom used to pack in your lunch. Listen to your favorite feel good song and dance, smile at other people because chances are they are going to smile back at you. Indulge in that sweet bun next to the Duck Pond by yourself. Once you can do this for yourself you’ll be able to share your happiness with the world, and the world needs a little more happiness and love. Be the change you want to see, love yourself David and be happy.

This isn’t just a reflection for me because I know that there are so many other people who are going through the same exact thing, so be kind and be understanding. All of us just need a little love.