The first night you’re away, I guarantee you’ll cry so hard you’ll be able to float a boat home on the river of your tears. If it’s an all girls school, expect orgies every night. The food is gonna look and taste like salted cardboard, but somehow you’ll gain weight like a stock animal slated to go to slaughter later in the month. These are things I was told in the months leading up to my departure for college. Well, guess what?

I didn't cry (it took a full week before I blew my top), more often than not, girls look for someone to eat with- not sleep with- and I've maintained my pre-college weight. What's the big idea?

I don’t know who came up with the idea that gaining weight is always to be seen as the worst-case scenario, or that every single person beginning their pursuit of a higher education will be packing on the pounds within their first month. Sure, there’s generally a greater availability of food- buffet style dining halls, late-night breakfast runs, and all the snacks scratching at your ankles like cats in a shelter- thanks, Dad. It’s easy to overindulge, especially when you’re on your own and there’s a loose schedule keeping you in check. “Hey, you can’t eat in class, but why not get some Reese’s peanut butter cups from the vending machine on the way back from checking your mail?”

Food is not the enemy, but too much of it can throw you off and send you to bed for the rest of the day. It’s easy to load up the too-small plates with everything from broccoli to sweet potato fries, but the cramps later on may nudge you toward considering being more selective in what you put on your plate. You don’t need a mountain of food during every meal to get you through to the next, but if that’s how you want to eat and you’ll be damned if you’d let anyone tell you it’s not the best idea, be my guest. Different strokes for different folks.

Even if you do overeat from time to time, walking from one building to the next or across the entire flipping campus in ten minutes should keep you in check. If you’re still seriously worried, hit the gym, take a walk around the loop, or trek down to Siberia- the furthest parking lot from mankind. And if you do gain a little weight, so what?

Seriously, I want to know who said it’s so bad for people- especially those of the female persuasion- to return from their first semester of college with a few more pounds than they started with. Is it even all fat? Some people go hard those first grueling sixteen weeks and return leaner and compiled of muscle and the achievement of personal fitness goals. I’m telling you straight up, it’s fine.

Be considerate of your body and its needs. Drink water, try to eat a serving of fruit or vegetables with every meal like your mother always asked you to, and remember- your body is the way it is for a reason. It will take you wonderful places if you treat it with respect in return. So, on your way to the stars, do me a favor and don’t pay any thought to that fool the freshman fifteen.

You’ve got bigger things to worry about.