Last year at this time, I was a second semester senior in high school. At this point in my high school career, school seemed meaningless. I had already committed to a college and saw no point in trying anymore. I would sit in my classes counting down the minutes for the bell to ring. I longed for graduation day, I even had a countdown in my planner, but the days just seemed to drag on and on. All I focused on was my excitement for college and moving on with my life. And looking back on my last semester of high school, I kind of regret my attitude towards my last days.
The future is a place all of us are completely clueless about. Yet no matter how clueless we are, we still look forward to it. Let's rewind all the way back to middle school, I remember constantly thinking to myself that when I graduate from eighth grade, high school will be so much better. New friends, new classes, new opportunities: I decided that I would be so much happier. And then when I graduated and got to high school, all four years I would sit in my uncomfortable wooden desks, counting down the minutes until the end of the day thinking “Wow, I can't wait to graduate and go to college." Well, you guessed it, now I'm in college and sometimes I catch myself thinking how happy I'll be when I graduate and start the rest of my life. I feel like all my life I've rushed myself to grow up.
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The future is unpredictable, yet we all think we have the ability to predict that we'll be happier in it; at least we hope we will be. The things we want in our life in present times, like a huge walk-in closet or a significant other, always appear in our vision for our futures. Then, when the future becomes our present, we hyped it up so much that the happiness we hoped for doesn't always live up to our expectations. So, instead of adjusting those expectations, we push that happy image further into the future, ignoring the things that make us happy in our present lives.
It's time to stop thinking of happiness as an event for the future, and start living in the present. One of my favorite quotes is: “Happiness is a mood, not a destination," and it's true. Thinking of happiness as a destination only pushes the feeling away because that destination is something you'll never reach. Life is imperfect and I can promise that there will never be a point in your life where every little thing will be just the way you want it. And that's okay, this is something everyone needs to learn to accept. People crave happiness because it's not something you can grasp onto everyday. It's a feeling, just like sadness, anger, guilt, etc. It comes and goes, it's never permanent, but for some reason that's hard for us to accept.
When I look back at my attitude towards my last semester of high school, I wished I lived more in the moment, rather than just the excitement for my future. Of course excitement is okay, but you shouldn't let it take your complete attention away from your present. We all need to learn how to live in the moment. There are things in our present lives that we don't even realize we take for granted, things that make us happy. Back in high school, maybe it was a sport, a class, or even a book. Maybe it was when you first got your license, and you drove for the first time alone, blasting your music with the windows down. Whatever it is that makes you feel happy, realize it. That way, when that happy feeling comes to you, you can recognize and appreciate it.
Take the time you have now to make memories. Tell the people around you that you love and appreciate them because you never know when your paths will end. Believe me, "future you" agrees with me. Learning how to live your life moment by moment, instead of chasing what you believe is a happy destination, is one of the most important things you can do. Don't get caught up in trying to chase a happy life. Happiness will come to you, maybe in brief episodes, but when it does, embrace it. You never know when that feeling will slip away.
