What is preventing you from captivating your happiness now? Is it time? Money? Priorities? Whatever it may be, you are capable of more. Looking back on childhood years, most people can smile and remember a time of more freedom. However, as people begin to grow up they tend to be consumed by expectations of reality and let it become their identities. Yet, happiness is not discriminatory! It doesn’t have a rule book claiming, “Only the young can captivate this emotion.” Happiness is a mindset. Remember that. Happiness is a state of mind where one’s soul, mind and attitude are in tune, but growing up is hard, and it’s even harder to keep a clear and accepting mind when one’s work load is of mountainesque heights. Yet I want you to know that no matter who you are or what you’ve been through, you are worth more and you are capable of happiness, and the only thing preventing you from obtaining such happiness is the barriers that you have set up in your own mind. I remember my junior year in high school running cross country and tearing my hip flexor. I ended up not being able to run for four months and had to go to physical therapy while my other teammates got to go on long runs, or run hills (you know— the fun stuff). By God’s grace I was lucky enough to get cleared to run one week before my district meet, and I somehow got third and made it to districts. At districts, I went into the race with no expectations and told myself, “This is for me, nobody else.” And once again, got third and made it on to the State meet. At State, I was terrified. I kept thinking, “All of these girls had four months to train that I didn’t get. I am not as good as them.” And by thinking that way, I suffered. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t focus. Doing warm ups for the race, I was shaking. Once I got to the starting line, I started crying. Can you believe that? Instead of reminding myself that I had made it that far, I reminded myself of how prepared others were in comparison to myself. Rule number one in obtaining happiness: do not let anyone else control your happiness. Proceeding on: The gun went off and everyone ran full speed ahead. Instead of the gun sending me into a trance state of solitude (like usual), I only noticed others. Who was ahead, who was near me, who was more buff than me, who was prettier than me (a bunch of stuff that was not in any way relevant to my worth). And for the first mile I slacked way behind, but something happened in the second mile. I saw one of my good friends on the team beginning to slack and I told her, “You got this. I’ve seen you run and I know your worth, do not slack because I know what you are capable of,” and her response back, “No Vivian, run this race for me.”
And something clicked in me. We both saw one another’s worth when the other didn’t. Why is that? Why is it so much easier to look at someone and understand their capability and their worth and compare it to ourselves and degrade ourselves because of it, before understanding the worth held in ourselves? Anyways, I bolted. Took off and told myself I am capable. I can do this. Do not give up. And I began to feel strengthened. The run that was making me originally want to lay down and yell, “I'm out,” was now making me feel alive (the power of the mind in perfect allusion). I went on to get seventh in State that race, and I can tell you now that it had nothing to do with my capability. Every girl that made it to State was just as capable as me. The only difference was my mindset. I was originally right. While I spent four months aqua jogging, every other girl was doing conditioning to get ready for that exact moment, but the mind provides subconscious blockades of capability that only you can control. That day I controlled mine and to this day cannot believe that I did it. And because of my strength, my teammate that had inspired me saw my strength and ended up following my lead and changing her own mind set and ranked 10th in State. If you take anything away from this story, take away this: you are capable. You deserve happiness. You are not your own judgement. Happiness doesn’t have a rule book deciding who is allowed to obtain it and who is not. Your life is for you and you need to understand that your boundaries are only what you have created. You are capable of more. Youare strong, but if your mind is not, you won’t feel like you are. So I encourage you to be strong even when you feel as though everyone in the world is better than you, and remember that no one person is better than anybody else, but some minds might just be stronger than others. So strengthen yours and know that you've got this! No matter the circumstance it doesn't matter that you're not a seven year old playing tag at recess and coloring for homework.
You do have more priorities, but the good thing about happiness is that it's free! So do this for you, and nobody else. Do this because you deserve it, no matter what you've done, or what you've gone through. It doesn't matter if you have constantly been degraded by others or even yourself, you determine your tomorrow, so choose happy.
