When I was first told I was going to be an aunt I kind of panicked. Not the kind of panic for my sister because I was scared for her. No—I panicked because I had never once held a baby before and I knew that this little girl would soon become my world.

Everyone has always described the way babies smell and the softness of their skin—they use the word baby in each sentence they say. That warm baby scent—the soft baby skin. But no description explains how much love I had the day I held my niece for the first time. Every other emotion except for happiness was subdued in the back of my head and kept silent.

It didn’t matter whether or not the sun was peeking out behind the clouds or if the room was dark and dreary. There was no sound in the room that has marked my memory from that day except for the coo of the baby in my arms. She was so very small but was already radiating so much warmth to me and everyone else in the room.When I placed my hand on her cheek, I knew what everyone had meant by soft. It was as if any fuzzy blanket or the fur of my pets couldn’t compare to Graelynn’s skin.

I would relive this day over and over to absorb the happiness from that moment she was placed in my arms. However, her joy and love will continue to be shared every day she is in my arms in the future.

Living four and a half hours away doesn’t always give me all the time in the world to be with my family. So, I try to make the best with what I have. That means spending my spring break cuddled up with my new baby niece. I look at her and I have so much wonder and awe—and well I can’t forget the baby fever.

I wonder who she will be when she is my age. I have no doubt it will someone amazing. It is hard to imagine that by the time I graduate college, she will be almost four years old. I wonder what she will look like, sound like, be like. Considering she enjoys farting in my arms, I assume she will find lots of humor at my expense.

As an aunt, I want to be her friend. I want to be the one she calls when she gets into a fight with her mom and dad. All I can hope is that she sees as much inspiration in me as I see in her.

Yes, she cries and screams and the only things she does right now is eat, sleep, and poop. Yes, I was anxious to learn how to properly care for her. But somehow, she has already changed my life and my family’s lives so much. We have a precious newborn—it is about Grae now. There is not one thing my family wouldn’t do for her because she is what matters the most—and that’s perfectly okay.

When I am not home, I miss her and her newborn smiles that are quite possibly just muscle twitches that I excitedly see as a smile. But I am so happy she was brought into my life and my sister’s life. There is not one day where I am not thankful for the opportunity to be an aunt—not even when she farts in my arms or burps in my face. I’m proud to say I’ve held my first baby. I’m proud to say I’m comfortable with holding her.

To my sister, I am appreciative of the time she allows me to share with my niece. To my niece, I am appreciative of the simple happiness she has shown me and will continue to show me every day.