I am up to my eyeballs in student loan debt, and I couldn't be happier. I'm in my third year at Maryville College, and for the last two years, in an ill-advised attempt to go through school without obtaining any debt, I took on a monthly payment plan. This payment plan had me owing nearly $1,000 every month. This was not including the fees for paying late and the nearly $200 fee due every time just for paying with a card (which was your only option). This put me under tremendous financial and emotional stress every month.
I cannot count the emotional breakdowns that I had over getting that ridiculous amount paid every month, let alone paying it on time. It was too much to handle for me with school, work, my Bonner service hours, and the cost of living, it wasn't plausible for me or my family. The further into school that I got, the worse it was on us. Lots of sacrifices were being made to help me out because leaving Maryville College wasn’t an option for me.
So, with my junior year ahead of me, we took out a whole mess of student loans. My parents hated the idea of it. They hated to send me out of the house owing tons of money right away. But I absolutely loved the thought of it. Not so much paying them back -- though I'd come to see that as a routine part of life, like a car insurance payment or the electric bill -- but I loved the idea of not having to worry and stress every month about the impossible payment.
For the last two years, I'd be a mess every month until we'd gotten that whale of a payment submitted, and then I could rest easy until the next one was due. I would cry and worry and be terrified, thinking that if I missed one more payment then I wouldn't get to stay at school. The thought was enough to send me over the edge. However, this year will be different. I'll get to add to my savings every month. I won't have to panic about any due dates that aren't papers I have to write. The start of every month will bring a fresh start, not a storm of worry. I'll be able to work less and study more. My biggest monster has been defeated, if only temporarily, and I couldn't be more grateful.
I know paying them back will be a pain and that it'll be one more bill for me to worry about, but I also know that I won't have to worry about my classes or my homework or my scholarships at the same time. I can worry about my job and my other bills, like every other adult in the world. Josh and I will be paying back loans for a long long time, like the rest of our generation. Until then, I can study and enjoy college without that behemoth hanging over me.
