"And they lived happily ever after."

How many times have we heard this as a child in movies or books? No matter what happens throughout the book or movie, no matter how terrible things became during the story, in the end, everything worked out. In the end, everything was perfect. Now I don't know about you, but this appeals to my type 1 [enneagram] heart. I personally strive for perfection in everything I do and I always look to be right in every way possible. Therefore, reading books like this and watching movies where in the end, "they lived happily ever" gave me so much hope that my life would look just like that.

I am here to tell you, life is not full of happily ever after's. There is no perfect life like we are told growing up. Life is messy and plain sucks most of the time. I have witnessed it first-hand. And sometimes, it's the people who are supposed to make our lives better who are the ones who make it sucky. Whether it's divorced parents (or becoming divorced yourself), battling mental illness, losing a loved one, or any other devastating event life throws our way, it is far from perfect. We are told from a young age our life should look a certain way - we are to be married by a certain age, settle down in our hometowns where we raise our kids and become PTA parents - but when life throws us a curveball or we choose not to take that path, it's as though something is wrong with us a human. We are told to put our hope into this vision of what our future is to look like. But what happens when life happens and our future no longer looks like that and the "perfect life" turns into a mess that we have no clue how to put back together. We spend too much time living our lives for other people because we are too scared of what others are going to say. We fear the tongue of people who are living the same reality we are, yet they're just putting on a mask to hide it.

For the past 21 years, I have put my hope in knowing my life would end with "happily ever after," and it hasn't been until recently that I truly began to think about what happens if my "happily ever after" doesn't happen or looks different from the books. And the conclusion I came too is this - THAT IS OKAY! My life is my journey to make my own. I don't owe anyone answers on why I choose to live my life the way I do.

And friend, I am here to tell you that our hope should definitely not be placed in these ideas of perfection or anything on this earth. Everything we feel like is so important now - our perfect life, our perfect home, our perfect body - is only temporary. My hope is placed in heaven, an eternal home where TRUE perfection abounds freely. I place my hope in knowing my heavenly Father and being in His arms. So even if I don't get my "happily ever after" here on this earth, I am okay with that. Because I know one day, I will be embraced by a loving Father where every flaw and imperfection will be erased and there will be no more grief or sorrow- and that, my friend, is a true "happily ever after."

-A