And they both lived happily, ever, after. Thousands of children's books, movies, and tv shows end this way. But as the years have gone by and I've grown into a wise 20 year old, I have finally begun to question this short, sweet ending. I apologize in advance to my fellow romantics and I warn those that are deep into the world of castles and fairies to take my words lightly. Now, I assume those of you who have decided to continue into this article are open to new thoughts, ideas, and maybe will decide to not listen to everything a mouse in florida tells you.
I'm going to write a popular children's story, right here, in this paragraph. Here we go: There is a beautiful girl, not too skinny and not too tall, but that perfect body type that all young girls need to strive for. She struggles with something, freedom, money, loneliness, something they long for but could never reach on their own...spoiler alert, a man will come fix all of that! So as you might have guessed,along comes a boy and yes, he is quite handsome and his charm is uncanny. Of course, they don't get along right away, because the youth of the world needs to know that when you like someone or they like you, you must first flirt by being rude or passive aggressive towards each other. After a long, adventurous quest filled with life threatening circumstances and many valuable, moral lessons, they gaze into each other's eyes and BAM! Happily, ever, after.
What did you think of? Aladdin? Cinderella? Rapunzel? So many options for one story. I just wrote that, that is my story, but each reader created an image of a princess they have seen in movies or read in books.
Happily ever after is always the last page; the end. The story is over once those words are read, but what happens after they've been married for five months and they're struggling to pay rent, when 2 years goes by and their first baby won't go to sleep so they're both up until five in the morning, when it's their 10 year anniversary and their babysitter cancels so they can't go out to dinner? Happily ever after isn't a time period, it's a commitment. It's a statement. Happily ever after is a battle cry for married couples.
You will not live happily ever after unless you choose to. You have to decide for yourself, for you partner and for your family that this IS your happily ever after. Happily ever after you lose your first job. Happily ever after the first time your wife burns dinner. Happily ever after you have a huge fight and your husband slams the front door, crumbling you to a pile of tears and lost hope. Happily ever after you get the raise you deserved. Happily ever after your daughter wins her first soccer game. Happily ever after you teach your teenager how to drive.
You said 'I do', not 'I'lI try'. There was a promise made, a covenant, to God, to your family, to your new partner in life. A promise that you would be there, through thick and thin, through cancer, pneumonia, debt, war, suffering, loss, pregnancy, health, riches, peace, and joy. Life is not a fairytale and that makes love so much more beautiful. If you want love, you have to fight for it, you have to put aside how hard it is, how sick you are of trying and fight.
And when you fight for the love you have and the love you want, you stand strong, together, as one person. You're together in a world that is constantly telling you to give in and fold up shop. And when you hear that voice and you will hear that voice, you smile and shake your head and say "Nu uh, not me, not my love" and you walk on. Walk on in happiness knowing that you didn't fall into happily ever after, but that you created your own. Your blood, tears, sweat, and energy have created something that no man can take from you.
So no, I don't believe in happily ever afters, not the ones we watch on tv. Do I enjoy princess movies? How could I not? But I'm so excited to one day take my husband's hand and walk into the battle that the world has created, because I'm ready. And I doubt a magical flower, glass slipper, or talking candlestick will keep my marriage alive, but as the old mouse would say, "when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you".
