I was just trying to wind down after a long day when I decided to watch the first episode of "Fuller House" -- the new Netlflix spin-off series of my favorite childhood TV show, "Full House." I’m still lying in my bed, but I might as well be lying in a puddle of my own tears. My make-up has run down my face, my tissue box is empty, and whilst I want to call my parents more than anything, I do not think I can speak and sob simultaneously.

Little did I know that watching the pilot episode of "Fuller House" would open the floodgates of childhood nostalgia.

With gold pants, an Ed Hardy shirt, and freshly cut bangs, I was a self-proclaimed “diva” at age nine. I picked my three best friends based on their hair color (there was a blonde, a brunette, and a ginger), I sang Britney Spears’ “Everytime” on our karaoke machine daily, and would sit in my window overlooking the streets of IJsselstein when I could not fall asleep.

Growing up in The Netherlands was a blast, but as my American mother observed, the television shows at our disposal were far from inspiring -- some of these gems included "Farmer Is Looking For Wife" and "The New Uri Geller." Evidently, my mother does not settle for mediocrity. She took matters into her own hands, and that was when beautiful shiny boxes full of DVDs started to appear at our house.

We tried out different shows like "The Partridge Family" and "Growing Pains" --however,my sisters and I became immediately and entirely captivated by "Full House." We were not allowed to watch new episodes without everyone in the room -- it was like a sacred ritual, and removing the plastic from a new DVD box was a privilege that had to be earned.

I cried when DJ and Steve broke up on the top of a mountain. I was infuriated when Michelle was cast as Lady Liberty instead of Yankee Doodle, and I sat alone in my room with the door closed after Papouli died. However, I have never cried more in my life than after watching this scene of Uncle Jesse saying goodbye to Michelle before moving out:

At the time, nothing was more saddening, uplifting, and hilarious to me than an episode of "Full House." Watching three girls grow up as you’re growing up yourself is quite fascinating. I imagined my first kiss to be like DJ’s, and always knew I would end up marrying Uncle Jesse.

At age twelve, my parents took us all to New York City for the very first time, and bought us each an American Girl doll -- I named her Stephanie, after Stephanie Tanner, and kept two journals: one for me, and one for her. Yes, I went as far as imagining the thoughts of a TV character, writing them down, and projecting them on a piece of plastic. "Full House" infiltrated every aspect of my life.

I firmly believed Uncle Jesse’s song “Forever” was indeed his, and not a cover of a Beach Boys song. I thought "Wake up, San Francisco!" was a real show, and searched every channel on any TV I encountered. I just felt like I could perfectly imagine what it would be like to be a Tanner -- and after having my first kiss, my immediate thought was of DJ.

This show brought me so much joy and fulfillment growing up, so why would a spin-off series turn me into a non-functioning sub-human who is softer than butter? Nostalgia.

As I watched the cast reveal themselves 21 years later, I burst into tears. When I was a child, life seemed endless. Becoming “a big person” was something so foreign and out of reach -- I did not think it would ever happen to me. I began dreading my birthday when I was only 14 years old. Imagine how I feel now.

It was strange watching DJ and Stephanie, so many years later, yet in the same setting, assuming new roles. I never thought DJ would really have kids, or really get older. Obviously, these things happen. We go through time and reach a new milestone quicker than we could have imagined. However, in my head I lived in a utopia of “things change, but not really.”

I want to run back to my childhood home, fight over the best seat on the couch, and watch "Full House" all day with my sisters. I never thought something so simple would slip through my fingers. Being able to wake up and fall asleep in a loving home is the greatest privilege I ever had.

I felt suffocated in high school and was ecstatic to leave my small town and jump into college life. But over time I have realized, things really do change, and we should not be so quick to look at the next milestone. I feel almost as though I am betraying myself by being away from my family so much when I am only starting to realize how short of a time on earth we really have.

It comforts me knowing that one day I will introduce my children to "Full House," and that I will sit beside them on the couch, like my parents did, and enjoy it just as much if not even more. Those episodes will not change, even though the world will continue to.