I recently went home for Thanksgiving break and finally got exactly that: a break. I spent time with family, hung out with friends, and cuddled my pup. It was a great, much-needed break.
Until one day it really wasn't.
It seemed like everything was happening at once. I was so incredibly overwhelmed dealing with so many different situations. My mind and heart were so conflicted. I felt like I wasn't making the right decisions. I felt like everyone was upset with me.
That night, I was in my room. I noticed a book from my high school days sitting on my bedside table. Honestly, before this night, I had just been using it for a coaster. On that night, though, I looked at it for a long while and decided to pick it up.
Inside, I found a letter I wrote to myself during freshman year of high school while on a retreat. I talked about everything we had done there, how there were a lot of tears shed, how many secrets were shared, and how huge amounts of encouragement were offered.
Many of my friends were at this retreat, and I learned so much about myself and others that weekend. I heard stories about their childhood and their insecurities. The fact that they could open up about their lives the way they did really inspired me. At the time, I was keeping many thoughts and feelings in. But, because they could share, it helped me be more vulnerable with myself and with others.
Knowing that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did was very comforting. We all think we are the only ones who feel the way we do, and maybe it's not exactly the same, but we can all relate and be there for one another.
At the end of the letter, however, I addressed my future self. I talked about how the constant struggles we deal with on a day to day basis can affect us. I told myself that what I was going through would figure itself out. I wrote, "Trust yourself."
I signed the letter with my name and with the following line: "I hope you find the courage you have been looking for."
That really hit home. It was so crazy. As weird as it may be, that is exactly what I needed to hear.
To anyone reading this. You've got this. Whatever you are going through, it's hard right now and it may not feel like it's going to get better. I promise it will.
So, from me to you:
I hope you find the courage you have been looking for.