Freshman year is by far the most impressionable year in college. You’re in a new city with new friends and a new beginning. So many things happen freshman year that will be unforgettable life-long memories. YOU WILL HAVE FUN. And you’ll want to tell you parents! But some things are better left unsaid if you care anything at all about your parent’s rising blood pressures. So without further ado, here is my list of things that you probably shouldn’t mention on your weekly Sunday phone calls.

1. How you really spent your refund check.
Mom, you totally would have bought those shoes, too. It wasn’t a matter of life and death, but it felt like it.

2. How many late night Taco Bell trips were made in the first semester alone.
Come on guys, you know the café doesn’t stay open all night. And nachos….. give me alllllll the nachos.

3. Your ever-growing coffee addiction.
Dad, I know you would never spend $6 for coffee, but you’ve never tried a caramel macchiato with 4 shots of espresso.

4. The inevitable sleep deprivation that has come over you.
“Take an 8 AM,” they said. “It won’t be that bad,” they said.

5. That class you dropped without telling them…
…that you’ll definitely have to go to summer school to make up if you want to graduate in four years. Still sorry about that one, Mom… You’re a rose in a field of daises.

6. How often other family members/family friends send you money.
What they don’t know won’t hurt their wallets. Love you, auntie Cory. J

7. The amount of times you’ve changed your major.
Accounting was boring, photography was harder than expected, and social work made you cry. It happens, guys. Interests change. As long as you know by the end of sophomore year, you’re good to go!

8. Every single mental breakdown you have/ Every time you thought about dropping out and becoming a stripper.
Look, it’s college. It’s stressful. But you can’t call mommy every time something goes wrong (and low key she doesn’t want you to). And dad definitely doesn’t need the mental image of his baby girl twirling half-naked to a throwback DMX single. Hang in there, champ. Fall break is only 6 weeks away.